http://www.learner.org/jnorth/images...on_hagge06.jpg

This is what you have wandering around your home? They're so cute!

Anyway, when we rescued the baby ducks we found that there was a bird person who was happy to take them and, when they were ready, set them free. She would put 11 or 12 abandoned ducklings with a mommy duck, get the mommy duck used to the babies and off they would go together.

Everywhere I have ever lived there has always been some bird person willing to help out in situations like this. I tend to just throw them some money when I throw them whatever animal it is I felt the need to rescue.

You have a good boy there.

Call an animal rehabber as soon as possible - you really don't want the birds to become too adapted to people or they will have trouble finding their own food. And if they are anything like ducks, they won't leave! The rehabber can give your son an update on the birds to make him feel better about leaving them, I'm sure. Also, if it is anything like TX, the rehabbers do all this work with some donations and their own money, so a small donation to cover loon chow would be much appreciated. Now, if only someone could help me with my litter of raccoons in the back yard.....

Have the baby loons started asking "Are You My Mother?" yet?

(Is that book still in print?)

Yes. Would you like me to recite it to you? From memory?

(shoot me. please.)

You have no right to comlain until you find yourself humming "Everybody's Fancy" in the shower and answering people at work who bring you good news with "Well, isn't that special?"

At a friends house for dinner last week, I sang "Clean up. Clean up. Everybody everywhere, likes to clean up, clean up. Everybody do your share."

I recently told a friend that I was tie-tie and needed to go night-night.

I know who the celebrity guests were on Sesame Street last week and where Grover went to visit.

I know what the inside of those Shrek toaster strudels look like.

I have every right to complain. I am also the happiest I think I've ever been.

Okay, I'll give your creds.

The Weedlet is in her princess phase (which I think lasts for like, 18 years, I know) and I now know all the words to the waltz theme from Sleeping Beauty, which is actually a decent song and beats the hell out of Blues fucking Clues.

Iron(that gleam in your eyes is so familiar)weed

Parent Creds
 

It only lasts about 7 years. The Princess phase terminates in the "I'm a Princess" phase. At that point, she will announce that she hates you and Mrs. Weed, stomp into her room. slam the door, and play MTV too loud while wearing her iPod and IMing all her friends about how difficult her life is.

Based upon my little sister, I believe this phase ends on the 32d birthday.

The Wonk Monster is now into wearing do-rags and pretending to be a pirate, interspersed with watching the Wild Boyz and Animal Planet at night, while spending all his daylight hours hiding from his parents or tramping in a dozen of his friends to announce that "they're hungry and want a snack."

I'm beginning to consider taking up professional drinking again, or moving to Belize. Alone.

Parent Creds
 

I think Belize sounds good, and you should probably isolate yourself from all forms of modern communication.

You could take MR with you for fun.

Parent Creds
 

Is the do-rag red or blue? I just want to know what set he's rollin' wit so I can avoid the 'hood.

And the Weedlet (almost 4) has already uttered those words every parent longs to hear - "I don't love you anymore." I think it had something to do with a dispute over ice cream. She hasn't worked her way up to "I hate you" yet, but she's a fast learner.

Parent Creds
 

Also soon coming to a child near you, the ever-popular "You're not the boss of me"

Parent Creds
 

That's my line. You have to establish boundaries with your kids early, you know?

Parent Creds
 

It's black. He be rollin' with Captain Jack Sparrow's crew, if ye be familiar with he.

Which reminds me of an old joke.

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel hangin out of the front of his trousers. The bartender asks him, "Do you know you've got a wheel hanging out your fly?"

The pirate replies, "Aye, and it's driving me nuts!"

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here through Saturday.

I know all the lyrics, too, but that's just because I had the Disney songbook. And of course it's a decent song--it's (bastardized, yes) Tchaikovsky, for heaven's sake.

tm(and I know it's true, that visions are seldom all they seem)diva