Banning kids
 

I usually go with the CD Player or MP3 on pretty loud, but even that doesn't cover some of the laughing fits they go on...

On the other hand, some of the dumbasses on the train provide good comedy. One late night not long ago on the last commuter train out, we got to almost the end of the line about 35 miles out of town when some half-drunk guy was surprised to learn from the conductor that he was not on the Amtrak to New York...

Banning kids
 

I find this fascinating. I'm not saying that you don't have umbrella-wielding, walkway-congesting, fatty pedestrians in the District, but I will observe that the sidewalks (at least downtown) are wider and broader than a number of other big cities. I guess I understand the irritation, but not the obsession.

You never know. She could've been bringing shorty in to parade em around the office today.

Cat Show
 

Awww, thanks!

I'm guessing that went right over your head huh?

Banning kids
 

Fucking amateur! I just start caughing loudly when I am walking down the hall--new mothers treat people with a cold like SARS patients.

Banning crabbiness
 

We should be eating them instead, especially the deficient ones.

Less' unoriginal, yet still modest, proposal.

Banning crabbiness
 

I suppose that would have nipped the whole fat-secretary-hogging-the-sidewalk problem in the bud by weeding them out early.

-TL

Banning the babies
 

So I'm getting married in a few months. I emailed my family members and friends with young kids to alert them to our "no children/babies at the ceremony or reception" policy. Here's what a cousin (one 3 y/o, and 7 months pregnant with another) wrote back:

"I think your plan sounds great! No objections from this mom. Sasha will have a wonderful time playing with other kids and it takes the stress away from the parents to keep children quiet all the time. If we make it — and it's our intention to come, but new baby will be only two months old which is why I say "if" — then the baby will need to be with me, but I don't anticipate this being a problem. He/she will probably sleep most of the time and will be quiet while nursing. I'll carry him/her outside if there's any crying. I hope this is okay with both of you."

POLL:
Is this response an example of:
a) passive/aggressiveness
b) rudeness
c) stupidity
or d) other?

str8

Banning kids
 

You know, I was about to exhibit sympathy for the slowpokes, when I realized that I was actively hating every single vehicle between me and my destination at lunch. They were either too big (dump truck, bus), stopped too frequently or for no apparent reason, went 2 miles an hour because it was clear they had no idea where they were going, didn't go through the lights fast enough, presumed to get in front of me and THEN slowed down, etc. I live in a city of vehicles and walking anywhere is unnatural to us. Hell, our artists use their cars as their canvasses. So I don't have to deal with the slow and inept walkers as much as the more densely populated cities. But I do sympathize.

And no one should be allowed to drive but me.

Banning kids
 

Heh, me too. I've had mothers glare at me when they realized that their kid was wondering why he didn't get the supersized happy meal.

Banning crabbiness
 

Well, that would be utterly fucking impossible anyway.

I guess it just goes to show that much is lost in e-mails and the like. I do not intend to sound negative in, well, the negative sense. I suppose the fact that I generally feel inclined to post only when I feel strongly about something (or have something witty to say -- although I seem to be the only one who finds me witty) and thus must come off rather strong which some interpret as being negative. Would it help erase my negative image if I told you that I successfully refrained from pinching the baby?

Banning the babies
 

a, b, and c. Did you indicate you were hiring babysitters for all kids? (It might not be a bad idea, but you could tell folks they're on the hook for their own). As for the two-month old, I think you ought to write back saying, basically, "you must have misunderstood; we're not inviting children. If you need help locating a babysitter to take care of your baby during the reception/wedding, please let me know."

Banning crabbiness
 

... and misguided, too.

Think of it this way. Assuming you decide to eat steak, why on earth would you choose the worst cuts?

Banning Crabbiness
 

It appears as if I finally have a friend. :kisscheek
Apparently someone who missed the entire vanillawhitebreadanalsex series.

I :love: NFH

Banning the babies
 

A and B. You shouldn't've even had to send the email; the way the invite is addressed tells the recipient who in the family is invited. We actually had to stop inviting pals who insisted on bringing their kid to obviously adult-only venues like the opera or cocktail hours, since they refused to go anywhere without it (and they had a fucking NANNY!)

Also, your cousin is lying. The baby will howl throughout your entire ceremony and your cousin won't take it out because they won't want to miss your vows, which they've just wrecked.

FWIW, if your family won't stop bitching about it, get a separate room wherever the wedding is, hire a babysitter, and force the family kids to stay there during the wedding and, if you want, during the reception too (rent Disney movies).

P(Been there, pain-in-the-assed that)J

Banning crabbiness
 

I read your post and all of a sudden I thought about Eddie Izzard graphically describing putting babies on spears/posts and laughed so hard I thought I would piss my pants. Everyone here thinks I am crazy anyway so it did not even warrant a glance from people passing by my office at the time.