Bad Kissing Advice
 

Okay, wait, I'm confused. Weren't you just recently congratulated for something?

Bad Kissing Advice
 

Doesnt matter. Once you have the stink of mothballs and the light glaze of cat fur all over you, the best you can hope for is a wedding where smug marrieds like tmdiva point out your wrinkly neck and more attractive bridesmaids. You can take the woman out of spinsterhood but you cant take the spinster out of the woman. Which is why my wedding will be a small family only affair.

Top this!
 

Wow TM, how did you know?

Booble
 

I don't think this has been posted yet: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...at_tech_booble

New search engine for internet porn. www.booble.com

Bad Kissing Advice
 

I'm sensing a theme for your wedding already.

http://www.krittersinthemailbox.com/...ts/sc1315t.jpg

And the maid of honor will be responsible for keeping your wedding gown looking purrrrfect.

http://classicalphotography.com/Quad...;s%20train.jpg

TM

Bad Kissing Advice
 

You are off on two small details-

1) the upper arm flab is missing and
2) the groom needs a beard and to look slightly more gnomish.



edited to remove large photo. e/o

Bad Kissing Advice
 

I would also hope your friends, or future sisters-in-law, are more presentable than the jawless cows signed up for this poor women's wedding party.

Bad Kissing Advice
 

Great! Am I invited? Or at least work the reception gig? I'm not really a song and dance cat, but I know entertainment. And I'll help you select a caterer. Preferably a succulent one.

Bad Kissing Advice
 

She's wrong, of course. I went for a tiny bit of cleavage myself, and felt smashingly sexy. But if she's that much of an unsightly hag this young, and really can't show her hideous wrinkly upper body to her friends, well, that's why God made high-necked dresses.

And I would imagine Scotch tape, pressed lightly onto then lifted off the all-covering wedding garb, would take care of the spinster cat hair.

Bad Kissing Advice
 

Note: I have not scrolled. I post with abandon.

If I were on a mission to re-train, I'd show him how it's done. I'd say something like, "honey, let me show you what really turns me on." I'd tell him to be perfectly still, mouth slightly open, and tell him not to move. Then I'd kiss the hell out of him, not using my tongue at all. If the tongue moved or reacted even a little I'd pull back and make him be still again and then start over from scratch. When he could kiss me back without getting his tongue down my throat, I'd let him try to kiss me while I didn't move. If the tongue got even a little play, I'd move away and make him start over.

Of course, it's very likely using this technique that you'll go a little further than you intended to.

Bad Kissing Advice
 

No worries. Nobody said exactly that, quite that way.

Is it warm in here?

ESPN Page 3 - Where sports meets entertainment
 

Anybody seen this? Seems rather silly, yet more dumbing down of ESPN. Oh, how I pine for the glory days when they covered sports, all sports, and nothing but sports.

It does have a picture of Pink and Britney in gladiator attire which Slave would appreciate. It's in Flash format so I'm unable to post it here. Link here. It's #5 in the picture section.

Bad Kissing Advice
 

Sultry.

Super Bowl stuff
 

Houston is already out of Cristal. No use going to Snoop Dogg's Pimps & Hos party now.

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory...olitan/2363316

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Men, all wet. On the premise that a man can never be too wet.


Wet men

Highlights. Mark Phillipousis without the monkey ears he had in yesterday's pic.

For fufu, Orlando Bloom

Lenny Kravitz

Ben Afflack
And mister yummy himself, Brad Pitt
http://wetmen.provocateuse.com/image...r_moore_01.jpg

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Is this Shemar person supposed to be attractive to women?

Bad Kissing Advice
 

Ouch.

Actually, the fact that it is bad techinique that makes Tongue Boy a bad kisser (rather than something intangible) may be a good sign.

Try telling him the next time you start to kiss that he should not use the tongue so much. Lie. Tell him you had an ex-boyfriend who slobbered all over you, and that when you and Tongue Boy kiss that you just have these flashbacks that are really bad because it was a really bad breakup. And, therefore, that you like more lips than tongue in your kisses.

If he is a nice guy, he will feel bad and change his approach. Just remind him every now and then when he starts licking.

Good luck.

Super Bowl stuff
 

Why would we worry about a shortage of this "classy bubbly"?

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Witht the exception of the gay shorts, I think the women of the world will mostly agree with me when I say hell yeah!
You would prefer Matthew McConaghey?
http://wetmen.provocateuse.com/image...naughey_02.jpg

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

My mother-in-law loves him. I sign cards to her "love, Shemar" because that's the kind of corny daughter-in-law I am.

(this is the woman who thought a tutu was an appropriate christmas gift for her 30 year-old daughter-in-law, so take her taste for what it is worth.)

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

I'd have to vote "no" on Shemar. He has never given off a manly vibe.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Are you forcing me to choose?

Blech on both counts (and as for Shemar, honey, it's not just the shorts).

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

John Stamos?http://wetmen.provocateuse.com/image..._stamos_01.jpg

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Who is Shemar? Was he the javelin tosser in Revenge of the Nerds?

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

I've been sitting here trying to think of a famous (non-athlete) man I think is truly laminated-list hot and I am at a loss.

I just cannot come up with anyone.

Bad Kissing Advice
 

I have read b-l's inquiry so many time and the responses so many time, that this guy's kissing technique is now disgusting me and I dont think I can move past it. He has to go.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt and Brad Pitt.
I don't know who this Austin Peck guy is, but he is very close to making the list.
http://wetmen.provocateuse.com/image...in_peck_02.jpg

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Who the heck Shemar? He's not bad looking, but doesn't do it for me. I think he'd be popular with the P-town crowd.

Now Lenny K., those pictures were worth the click.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

It's a good thing you hang out here and you have a job, because if you didn't, I'm quite sure you'd be sitting at home, watching Days of Our Lives, highlighting your favorite passages in Harlequin-type romances, and leading the discussion on the type of web site where frustrated hausfraus giddily inform each other that the guy who plays Sonny on GH is going to be at the Twin Valleys Mall at 2PM on Thursday to open the new White Farm Candle Works!, and arguing with your husband over why shouldn't you be able to have a vintage poster of Patrick Swayze hanging in the home office if you like it?

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Actually, she would just post a link to said web site.

TM

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Still no.

Brad Pitt? Seriously? The guy has the worst skin.

I have come up with one -- that Josh Duhamel is cute.

Still he's an actor, which automatically diminishes his appeal in my eyes.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Lenny Kravitz is an athlete? Who knew?

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

It's my dream.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

So I take it you are not in the club that gives points for humor? Jon Stewart will be devastated.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Shemar began his career in 1994 on Young and the Restless as Malcom Winters. Made his career by taking his shirt off at every opportunity. Will be known in history as being the person to present Susan Lucci with her very first emmy. Left said show to do lots of other nameless crap.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

I like that the supposed Ben Affleck link was actually to Lenny again. Because, really, who would rather see Affleck than Lenny?

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

it may be that my avatar has caused you to set your standards too high IRL. If you'd like I will change to someone less attractive.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

[Sigh] Too true. [/Sigh] You don't happen to have a twin in the Boston area do you?

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

I give mad points for personality, which is why actors (too narcissistic) and musicians (too geeky)* are always diminished in my eyes, no matter how pretty the package.

NFH, the big nameless Shemar project was Soul Train where he couldn't pull off heterosexual convincingly while dancing with the scantily clad women on the show.

*You know I love you, musicians, but the geekiness does not add to the sex appeal.

A little sumptin for the spinsters
 

Jude Law. Viggo Mortensen. Although I wasn't nuts for Viggo's clean-cut Vanity Fair spread or the soldier crispness in GI Jane--he's one of those guys who always looks better scruffy.