Theater Etiquette
 

Humming along at the Met should be a capital crime. I'd like to be able to produce actual physical pain while giving my death ray glare to rude concert/theater/opera patrons.

As for standing ovations, I thought it was just Minnesotans who gave them for just showing up. It's become so trite I think we should borrow a page from European audiences and show enthusiasm by rhythmic clapping or foot stamping and save standing ovations for the kind of performance that leaves you with goose bumps.

sunless tanning update
 

Well, the action IS much better at St. Jude's....

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

I was meeting with a former pro football player who ran a very successful financial company.

Since he spent most of the meeting checking out my legs, I wasn't clear if he was the brains behind the operation or just the name.

As i was leaving, he asked what the JD on my card stood for.

I sized him up, assumed he was kidding, and answered him accordingly ("junior debutante").

Even(he was kidding)Odds

Theater Etiquette
 

Let he without sin cast the first death ray glare! Turn the other cheek sir and make it snappy!

Jesus

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

Yes, but what is the JD on your card for?

Do they let non-lawyers practice in Texas?

MmmmBurger, Esq., J.D.

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

Once upon a time, I represented a wee TechCo.

In April of 2000, TechCo issued $250M in notes in exchange for $250M of investors' hard-earned cash.

In March of 2001 (yes, less than one year later) TechCo was hurting, like every other company, and the ratings on their notes were downgraded. This downgrade allowed them to re-purchase $184.7M of their issued notes for a paltry $58.4M.

On the lucite deal toy on my desk, some fucking investment banker had the nerve to characterize the foregoing transaction in a balance-sheet style. At the bottom of the balance sheet is the following entry, circled and in bold:


Net Gain = $125.8M


Seven

Theater Etiquette
 

May I likewise cattle-prod the gentleman doing an almost violent note-for-note "air piano" in front of me at a concert to make him stop?

P(Thank God he didn't get up and bow at the end)J

for love or money
 

Wrong-o. That is not a particularly flattering picture of her (hence ABBA's comment about the mustache). She is gorgeous and oozes poise. She was so far out of that doofus's league it isn't funny.

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

Someone I work with decided em wanted to bend my ear over discrimination in the workplace, and when I pointed out that em was mistaken about my religion, em actually said, "Oh, I assumed that you were X, because you grew up in Y."

I wrote a little note that said "have brain filter installed" and pinned it to em's shirt.

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

Funny, no.

The company I worked for included it on my card, to prove I had a graduate degree I suppose.

Since many of my colleagues had Ph.Ds, to my horror, I was often referred to as Dr. Odds.

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

Tell that to the executives at Freddie Mac

not7y(new members of the 405 club)S

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

This is the reason I don't do deals. I have no idea what you are talking about and why it is dumb (math error?). Maybe I'm dumb, wait, don't answer that.

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

Jewish/Long Island. What do I win, Johnny?

Afternoon Dumb Poll
 

"Can I sue this bank for not hiring me as a security guard?"

They'd turned down his application because of his repeated convictions for armed robbery.

VH1's Top 100 Songs of the Last 25 Years
 

Listed here:

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/arts...ongs-List.html

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Some of us may perhaps take issue with the inclusion of Hanson's "MmmBop." :)