Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I think I've shared this before, but it's one of my favorite stories:

Friend in college wants to get out of relationship. I'm in the room when the following conversation occurs:

Girlfriend: "Does this skirt make me look fat?"
Friend: "I really don't think it's fair to blame the skirt."

End of relationship. Not that this was a way that gives the dumper warm fuzzies.

I myself never figured out a way to intentionally get someone to dump me that doesn't involve being an asshole, and if you're going to be an asshole, you might as well just do the dumping and get it over with.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Me too. Demon tequila. As of right now, though, my underwear seems to be in full working order.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

That's an annoying clever re line but i am procrastinating. Anyway, I would like Sidd or anyone else here who loves their job,which I think is nobody, to tell me how to get into that mindset of "wow, this is interesting and exciting and I am making a real splash and impacting the lives of others". Cause right now, I am kinda lawed out.

And I realize asking this here is probably an exericse in futility as this is the lawtalking home for wayward procrastinators.

Dress for Suck-skeks
 

This reminds me of something that I've heard from more than one occasion, whether in bars or other places talking with people without degrees:

"oh, you're a lawyer? Damn you must be smart."

That cracks me up every time.

Clark
 

Before the margaritas started flowing last night, we were talking about this. Someone had just been to a reception for the new mayor, and a lot of kooks were out that night. Random people would walk up to the person who had been there and start on some sort of spiel about whatever cause it was that they were supporting. People who just wern't quite right. Their hearts were probably in the right places, and they obviously believed in whatever it was that they were supporting, but the people skills just weren't there.

I've been around a lot of hard core fans of a variety of things (sports and tv shows being the top two) and the true believers are always a bit off in some ways. The rest of the fans sort of take a step back and say "whoa, this guy isn't with me" and of course the newspapers and tv reporters always focus on those guys when they do their report on the fans reaction to something. I think the political true believers are similar.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

I actually do really really like mine, and so maybe my advice wouldn't be as useful as advice coming from someone who didn't like theirs but who managed to convince themselves they did so as to feel better about getting up and going in.

But anyway, start making yourself aware of what else you COULD be doing, and how much you COULD be making. There are just a ton of really really shitty occupations out there, most paying less than what you're making. You get paid to sit around and produce intellectual results. You could be getting paid to hump your butt on a line, or sell insurance or blocks of cell time or futures contracts, or answer no-mind phonecalls, or supervise idiot wretches, or . . . lots of bad choices. All for less money, less self-esteem, less ability to think creatively, less freedom to surf or read or talk or whatever. All in all, this is one of the better professions. It's not all roses, but there's more roses than you'll find most other places. The grass is actually greener where you are right now.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Weeks of being non-responsive and listless in conversation. Didn't work, since I think he was trying to do the same thing. I ended up dumping him and he breathed a sigh of relief when I did it. It was sort of funny.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Interesting question. When I first met my husband, I was very suspicious and made it clear in no uncertain terms that I would not stand for lying, and cheating was a "one strike and you're out" offense. (He also learned early on that I'm a great detector of lies and the wrath that is unleashed upon my learning of the lie is not worth it.)

He, on the other hand, told me in no uncertain terms that were I ever to cheat on him, that he woudn't want to know about it.

Over the years, however, I realize that I'm not concerned about his cheating (not that I would encourage it, I think it's more that I don't think it would happen -- not because of me so much, but because, well... he's too cheap.**) In the highly unlikely scenario that he did cheat on me, I have definitely softened on the "1 strike and you're out" stance.

When he heard of Brittney's marriage -- he said, "Oh no, Now I don't have a chance" -- which prompted my response of -- "I see. So you have no problem cheating on me with her, but you all of a sudden would feel bad now that she's married?" We both laughed. Such mirth at the dtb household...


**A friend told me about a study she'd read that the men least likely to stray are those who are, uh, parsimonious, or, not to put too fine a point on it, tightwads. It's just too expensive for them to have action on the side. If this is true, I can rest assured that he will be forever faithful.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

I remember reading an ad in DC's City Paper about the opportunity to PAY $2000 for 2 weeks and go help in Cuba's sugar harvest. I had an epiphany! Overpaid overstressed people could do with a few weeks of dumb work.

I thought about starting a company where I would run a McDonald's. I would staff it with lawyers/doctors etc. who were on a "vacation." They would pay me $3000 per week to work at my McDonald's. I would hire a mean late-teenager to manage, and make the week a hell hole for my vacationers.

I would have a very well-educated staff, plus I'd be helping them realize how nice their real jobs really are. I also think the week there would be a great stress relief for the professionals. You wouldn't have to worry about committting million $$$ malpractice; at most you'd burn a basket of fries.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I get this all the time. Though a thorny problem in its own right, at least it makes the "lie to SO about an innocent drink with the ex" dilemma evaporate. Better to stay home and not tempt her.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

If it could be Sonic Burger and I could dress up with my pal in the mascot costumes and give passers by the finger and then write obscene messages on the marquee, you're on. That looked like fun.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

At my old job, I think I would have taken you up on that.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Sure, but........
Quit goofing off! Go change the trash cans in the dining room..............Aren't you done yet?!!!!!!!

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

That's the method I used. Only once though. It worked. Although now that I think about, my non-responsiveness and listlessness were fairly real. I didn't really care to respond.

lies
 

or another folk singer.

Clark
 

This post will be interesting to nobody but GWNC:
My brother once got yelled at by John Turner for biking across his lawn.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Or at the very least, a nasty case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

All it takes is Argyle?
 

I nominate the exchange culminating in this post as Best Intentionally Funny Exchange Involving PLF or a Reference to PLF.

I was going to call it "Return of the King," but didn't want to be that far up PLF's butt. Today.

All it takes is Argyle?
 

The King has returned as the Queen.

NCS rules; Plf is but her court jester.

lies
 

Why? Shouldn't the burden be on the person insulting me by treating me as unworthy of trust?

lies
 

That spin made me dizzy! I think that the "I'm keeping this from you because it would only bother you needlessly" view is extremely insulting.

And I'm not taking a hard line moralistic view on this subject. I don't think it's right or wrong to tell or to keep; it depends on the relationships. As Wonk said, some stuff is gray. But I will say that the only time that I would not tell my SO about having a drink with an ex would be if I were meeting the one ex whom I would still like to fuck.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

First of all, what Bilmore said. He is right on so many levels. Have you ever had a shitty job? I mean a really shitty job - like Sonic Burger?

Do 2 things - Next time you're out buying shoes, just have a seat and watch for awhile. Most women have ugly, knarly, smelly feet. Watch as the poor saps go running back and forth to the stock room while unreasonable woman with smelly feet tries to cram her feet into a size too small and all for a $50 pair of shoes. Ask yourself, was that worth the $5 he/she just made?


Then go to a daycare center where there are lots of kids - screaming bratty kids. Ask any of the workers how much they make and see if you could take it for even an hour. You'll be exhausted.

Then ask yourself - is what I do so bad?

ETA I have petite beautiful feet with no odor, ever. I'm sure you do as well. But just look at what most women are walking on (shudder) or better yet, what they put into sandals (ech). I wouldn't touch most women's feet with a pole and oven mitts.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I'm hoping you'll explain how a guy can hang like some functional harem.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I have an example of how NOT to lie. It wasn't an SO, but a guy I had been seeing regularly on a non-exclusive basis. Let's call him Chip. Anyway, Chip and I were out at a bar with a bunch of his friends. Not really a date, but we were together. Then suddenly Chip and his buddy left to take care of a "problem." They were gone for almost two hours. During his absence, I met this amazing Vince Vaughn lookalike (a la Swingers, when he was hot). Incidentally, he was Vince Vaughn for Halloween. The resemblance is truly uncanny. But I digress. Vince and I started making out in the bar and we decided to leave together. By this point, Chip had returned from his mysterious trip and I had to think of a way to escape. So I told Chip I was really sick and had to go home to puke.

When the cab dropped us off at my place, I realized that I didn't have my keys b/c I valet parked my car at the bar. So we went back to to the bar only to find out that the valet parker gave my keys to Chip! (So Chip knew I couldn't get into my apt.) I was drunk as shit by then, cold, and horny, so Vince and I decided to stay in a hotel. Now here is the stupid lie I told Chip the next day. I told him that I crashed with Girlfriend #1 at her apt., since I didn't have my keys. Then I called Girlfriend #1 and asked her to lie for me, in case Chip mentioned it. She was less than thrilled to have to lie to Chip, but agreed. Of course that very day Chip and Girlfriend #2 were talking on the phone (while I was there) and she told him that she had spent the night at Girlfriend #1's PARENTS' house with Girlfriend #1. Luckily, Chip didn't catch the discrepancy, since he really doesn't pay attention to these little details. But I was really sweating it for a while there. Just got lucky.

Moral of the story: Don't make your friends lie for you, esp. if they know the SO too. And keep it simple. The simplest lie I could have told him was that the manager let me in to my apt., rather than inventing some story about my crashing at a girlfriend's house.

Clark
 

Did you figure out who the reptiles were? Do you still get Secret Service protection when you're an ex-VP? Even when it's been decades since you were the VP?

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Leave it and go into plaintiff's work like I did.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I told my ex who thought he was still my boyfriend that I had to study for a law school final but instead went out with some other guy. When I exited the other guys house the next morning, guess who was waiting in his car on the street outside. The psycho followed me and waited all night outside. I had to plead with the ex to not go directly in and mess up the other guy. But we were NOT STILL DATING.

lies
 

I've been thinking about this and what I realize is that the only SO's I have that I would think to meet up with at all are the ones I would still, at least in the hypothetical sense, like to fuck. Which are pretty much all the serious ones from my past.

What I mean is that when I think about my past loves, I still think I'd like to fuck them, because at one time I wanted to fuck them because I found something attractive about them...and the only reason I'd be interested in seeing them would be that thing that attracted me to them in the first place.

Of course, wanting to fuck them and actually fucking them are two very different things. And no, I wouldn't fuck any of them, because none of that would be worth the damage to my marriage.

But, I do think, if you do cheat, it's your penance to keep your fucking mouth shut about it. You must carry around the heavy burden of your infidelity. To lay that burden at the feet of the loved one you've wronged would be to wrong them twice, and that's uncool.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

You do realize that this part is making a lot of the men consider leaving law, or at least get a part time job.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

ANd cheapness is one of my biggest dealkillers (financial budgeting fine,but cheap? no).

Wow, an hour and thirteen minutes of straight work. I was in the zone man, intense.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

REally? Is that why most of the shoe sellers at Nordstroms are men?

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Try approaching the work like you did when you first got out of LS again. Really think through the matter. Examine all the facts. Ask yourself why the facts you deem material are. Question why the ones you dismissed as non-material are not material.

Look at the issues you've identified. Re-examining them will almost inevitably lead to ones you've missed that, while not crucial to your problem, will give it more context.

Finally, do the research. All of it. Don't just find the one or two No Action Letters that you can rely on for support. Read all of them. Think about what makes the distinguishable one distinguishable. Note the splits in circuits, and look at whether another circuit outside the controlling one has a better answer. Consider arguing for a change in the controlling circuit.

All this can be summed up as reawakening your intellectual curiosity. Don't look at the work as just another problem to be cleared off your desk. What made law interesting when you got out of school was the fact that it was a process of discovery. What makes it become boring is the transformation of discovery into routine.

I don't know if this will help or not. It's what keeps things fresh for me, though. I'm also lucky enough that the group I work in tends to get the more complex and unique matters. Therefore, a lot of my assignments really are things that nobody knows the answer to.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Did you feel like making out with Madge?

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

You are a plaintiff's lawyer? Ew.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Bilmore,

When I graudated from college, I was offer a gig doing insurance work. I went to law school. The person who took the gig now makes over $200k and has oooodles of free time.

Intellectual nonsense is exactly that. Its all procedural gamesmanship played by a pack of tools.

You just think you're making more than everyone else because you've been institutionalized in this field. I assure you there are swarms of people doing less intellectually stimulating things like institutional sales, stock borkering, PI and regaulr old sales who lap your ass in salary and QOL.

If you take start viewing law as a business (i.e., start milking the market for referral fees and banking favors), you'll fins a whole slew of people who laugh at all of the intellectuals.

The richest cat I know has barely a high school degree.

Fuck this, I've said this shit before...

Take off the blinders...
SD

lies
 

The more I think about this, it's not that there's a right or wrong answer - it all comes down to what character and quality of a relationship you want to have. A person can make a very valid choice to have a relationship that is somewhat less connected than the "share everything, say everything" model, and that's fine.

My only qualification to this, though, would be that there needs to be an almost explicit agreement between the two SO's about this. If one SO is thinking it's the "share everything" model, but the other is keeping secrets, it's not going to work, long-term.

Clark
 

I don't think they were SS - more like "hired drivers and minders". We never spoke about them, so I don't know for sure.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

I didnt ask how to be a good lawyer. I asked how to be jobloving Sidd type.
YOur suggestion is exactly why I am procrastinating, dear. Thats a whole lotta unfun effort.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

It's interesting that you chose McDonald's for your example. For many years (I don't know if they still keep up the practice) McDonald's had a week where they put all their senior and middle managers and their primary outside advisors on the line in stores.

Jack Greenberg, CEO would spend a week flipping burgers, taking orders, and mopping johns. So would his lawyers and accountants. The whole point was to cause them to refocus on what it was that brought the money in the door.

It was both a team-building exercise and a way for them to keep their appreciation for the market they were so far removed from in the executive dining room.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Its been at leeast a month since I have seen this post. Like a late rentcheck.