Nails, nails everywhere - 9000
 

Mmmm... Fastidious, yes. Until the putrification of the inner tissue begins to lead to hemmoragic feaver.

Well, when the time does come for the appointed tryst, please be kind to remember that I do not take vermouth in my martinis.

The Perfect Threesome
 

I'll make it easy....

http://www.beautyinadvertising.com/v...r4_004_jpg.jpg

The John Frieda Sheer Blonde Twins

not7y(I love you love you love you love you)S

Worst Passengers
 

Now you understand why more than a few people board aircraft totally inebriated and continue to imbibe until the point where the alcohol is no longer a relaxant but more of a preservative.

Came back in First class from London a year or so ago and put down a bottle and a half of Dom Perignon by the time the plane hit the ground in Philadelphia. Made the flight on the turboprop a breeze.

Nails, nails everywhere - 9000
 

Wow, we have so much in common. The fastidiousness, the vermouth, the attraction to ABBA ...

... but as for the status symbol thing, not so much.

Worst Passengers
 

I was on a flight once with similar rude parents. The solution is to begin talking to your companion using lots and lots of curse words for their kid to pick up. You may get no immediate response, but you'll have the pleasure of knowing their little darling will be cursing in front of Grammy very soon - who will then blame the parents.

And regarding the clipping of nails - every boss I have ever had has found it not inappropriate to clip their nails (yes, even occasionally toenails) in front of me (Gag!). I finally told one that the practice was gross and to please stop - this worked, but I was canned* not long after.

-TL

*Whether I was actually canned or not is still up for debate. If you tell someone what they can do with the job, knowing it will get you fired, it that really being fired or is it an ugly resignation?

Worst Passengers
 

I would love to duct tape their midget mouths and anchor them to the seat with their legs stapped up over their shoulders to prevent the kicking the back of the seat syndrome.

Flying with Kids
 

All too rarely you encounter people with really amazing consideration for others -- on a flight from DCA to Boston I saw a couple where Dad sat in the row in front of Mom and the kid so that any kicking was of Dad's seat. Bonus was both Dad and Mom had easy access to the aisle. I wanted to be friends with these people.

Worst Passengers
 

Not that this would work with the seat kicking scenario, but if you can get away with telling misbehaving children without mom and dad hearing, I have had great success by telling the child that if they continue whatever behavior, I will call the police and they will go to jail. I used this several times with children yelling (nonstop screaming) outside my old apartment - it worked well.

-TL

Worst Passengers
 

This solution is brilliant. If you have to put up with their kid because "the kid is two," then the kid should have to put up with you because you are 32 (or however old you are).

Flying with Kids
 

exception- on flight to Orlando, my 2 1/2 year old son gets a seat across aisle from mom. to his left old couple, to mom's right other mom and kid. so my son starts in on "mommy sit next to me." my wife asks the old couple if they would please switch and sit across the aisle from each other, she gets a curt refusal. my son starts crying/screaming- so we're happy the old couple isn't enjoying the flight, but as I write this I realize alot of other passengers were hurt. after about a minute a mom with a teen switched with my wife and kid. anyway my exception is, you get on a flight to Orlando, you should be prepared for kids.

Worst Passengers
 

You are my hero.

I will have to try this. With the cop in my family frequently stopping by in uniform on the way to/from work, it ought to work quite nicely. Maybe I can tote him along everywhere I go? "You! Little bastard screeching during the movie! Up against the wall with your hands up!"

Flying with Kids
 

Let me get this straight:

Your kid whines, so you ask others to inconvenience themselves, and they refuse. Then you think it's funny when your kid throws a tantrum because, for once, he didn't get exactly what he wanted. And you're glad that the old couple was annoyed.

Sounds like you're well on the way to appearances at juvenile proceedings and visiting rooms.

Flying with Kids
 

Dude. That was YOUR kid kicking the back of my seat when the old couple wouldn't switch? You inconsiderate prick!

Worst Passengers
 

What? Brad Garrett is in your family?

http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/76/25/22m.jpg

Does that make you Patricia Heaton?

http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/52/55/12m.jpg

Gatti(and I was just getting used to the mental image of Velma)gap

Flying with Kids
 

do you know me? the same boy, now 11 just got arrested yesterday- its not clear if he'll be charged as an adult yet, so I'd rather keep details hush-hush for now- but maybe you're right, maybe it was my fault- hmmmmmmmm- nah fuck that!
I didn't get to the top of the little molehill that is the legal market in my tiny little corner of the world by being understanding and compassionate, fuck the old couple, and you know what, as nasty as the old lady was, the old man would have been far better off with the few feet distance across the aisle from her ass. I'm sure in his heart he'd like to be even further away.