Dining Hall?
 

Paigow,

Is it bad for a guy to not eat bread and cake? I won't touch either because (a) I don't like either and (b) what's the use of empty calories? I also refuse to eat ice cream and usually avoid egg yolks, mayonaisse and fatty salad dressing despite having no history of heart disease in my family. My wife calls me a fag for eating like this, but the way I see it, being extra healthy with my diet allows me to drink twice as many drinks as the normal guy and inhale smoke and lots of red meat without fear. I've been on a sort of modified Atkins diet for the past decade.

Where do chicks get the notion that real men have to eat like shit? I don't like to work at my job and have a rotten attitude. If I get fat and my energy and my looks go, I got nothin' else. Fuck, its gets harder and harder every day to get by on packaging over substance - I can't fucking afford to get fat and ugly.

S(So if I threw away the bun on my cheeseburger you'd think me a pansy?)D

Nu Bra
 

Wow, you're right. Their site actually lists a half-dozen of them, apparently as a result of ties with Whole Foods. Kewl.

Nu Bra
 

Jamba Juice has the best wheatgrass shots.

Nu Bra
 

They put a FUCKING RED LOBSTER in River North in Chicago. I threw up in my mouth when I heard about it. I was on the bus going home from work when I heard a (clearly tourist/suburban) couple discussing their meal there. I decided to inform them that they are in one of the best eating cities in the world with THOUSANDS of restaurants, and they chose to eat psuedo processed fish at the Burger Chef of seafood. Bravo Naperville, way to go...

Dining Hall?
 

You can eat like shit and still not gain weight. Just don't eat as much. Do you think the euros count calories? And they smother their fries in mayo and suck down the red meat. They just eat less/smaller portions. Jesus, the pastries in Paris are so fucking bad for you...but thier SMALL pastries, not football sized Starbuck's scones...

Edited to say that I don't practice what I preach. I eat 3500-4000 calories per day. But I'm a runner and eat everything I see.

Vanity?
 

E/O,

Most of the anti-male vanity shit we hear is based on stereotypes. There's an idealized notion of men as rugged careless cowboys of a sort. A cat who has a manicure is hard to reconcile with the notion of real men being like Eastwood, Keith Richards, Al Bundy, Roger Clemens, etc...

Some fat wing-eating mismatched slovenly friends of mine refer to me as a "face guy" from time to time because I go to a gym and wear tailored clothes. These guys have always struck me as strange. They desperately want to get laid all the time, yet they let themselves go to shit, thus precluding their receipt of any female attention. Its like they're mad that women don't want to come into the bar and belly up next to them while they eat wings and slug Coors Light. I'd never hit a salon, don't get manicures and wouldn't know skin cream from Astroglide, but I do always make sure I'm not fat and that my clothes look good. Hell, for those of us who've never had a stitch of rap, that's the only way we can attract ladies. Lord knows I wasn't charming after my sixth bourbon, so I'd better at least look like I've got my act together. Jimmy Kimmel may get laid looking like a slug and espousing being a fat dumpy pretzel and Bud Light consumption machine, but in real life, that shit doesn't work... unless of course you're extremely wealthy, in which case you can look like Screech and still score major ass.

S( I just don't really understand "going to seed" at any age - either man or woman)D

Vanity?
 

Actually, Jimmy Kimmel's wife just filed for divorce, so perhaps she's departing for less-pudgy-and-ill-kempt pastures.

I exercise solely to preclude fatness and early death and do it only to the extent necessary to counteract my pleasurable intake of excellent desserts. Since it's clearly possible to both enjoy food and stay in pretty good shape, despite my natural couch-potato tendencies and lack of time, I have limited patience with the "eat like a pig then be surprised and pissy that I'm obese" thing.

And Another Thing
 

I fucking hate these dumbass friends who complain that they're fat or look like shit, yet still suck down beer instead of stepping up the plate and drinking a real goddamn drink. I go over to these guys' homes for parties and the fuckers offer me Bud Light. Fuck Bud Light. Its got no taste and you need fifty to catch a buzz, after which you'll get the worst hangover in history.

Maybe if these cats would start sucking down booze they wouldn't be so fucking fat and look like hell. If you're at a party, the reason you're drinking is to get juiced. Why would anyone drink beer to get juiced when they could drink booze, or, in the case of women, wine?

Beer if fine for tailgating, watching football and relaxing after work or having a casual drink where you don't want to catch a buzz. In all other scenarios, real people of age drink liquor.

If I attend another rehearsal party where all they serve is wine and beer, someone's going to lose an eye. If you're making me put on a goddamned tux and be part of the wedding, the least you could do is have the decency to observe the accepted social ettiquette of the last 200 years of proper American society and serve liquor... and good liquor at that.

S(and don't tell me it was too expensive to serve liquor - its far cheaper to serve liquor than wine and we all know it)D

Vanity?
 

What's a stich of rap?

Aside from not understanding that phrase, I agree with everything you've said on the self-grooming topic. Shows a lack of self-respect and, if there is an SO, respect for the SO, to not take care of your health and appearance.

Vanity?
 

I too find it funny when people act like their big ass and belly kinda crept up on them when they weren't looking. There is nothing like hearing someone curse skinny women and whine about how genetics screwed her/him with fat while she/he stuffs a fucking HoHo into her/his gaping maw. I can't do the exercise thing (okay, won't except when it involves "running" to the fridge for a beer) but I don't take in a lot of calories (I was never a calorie counter but did it recently for fun and found that if I took out the beer I would be below 1,000 calories a day and some days well below that) so I can maintain a good weight.

And Yet Another Thing
 

Memo to wedding planners:

Dewars White Label is NOT an acceptable sole choice of Scotch at a wedding.

Hell, I'd rather have a cash option than have you offer me something that tastes like OPT.

Besides, if you serve the Dewars, we'll most likely switch over to gin. And studies have shown that gin often results in mild-mannered party-goers turning into the Hulk.

not7yS

Vanity?
 

The whole "it's genetic" thing is such a fucking crutch it's absurd. Yep, that's right, and somehow only Americans have this gene, since were so homogenous and all...

Dining Hall?
 

No, silly, it's not so bad if you take a fat-binding pill before you eat AND wash the cake down with a diet coke. That's the real secret.

Vanity?
 

I have some male lawyer friends who seem oblivious to the fact that they are now what I would consider fat. Now that they are getting their shirts and suits custom made, they really have no idea how big they have gotten.

I am convinced that at least one of them is being force fed fatty foods by his heinous bitch of a wife who know she will lhave trouble keeping him if he is hot, again.

Vanity?
 

Holy crap, what do you eat? I admire (and could not even approach) your self-control. I am certain I take in way more than that, if only because I consider vegetables a scourge, tofu and other health foods disgusting, artificial sweeteners an abomination against God, and a day without the slow savoring of a good truffle a day wasted. Like I said, I have to exercise. Else I'm sure I'd be a monster.

Agree with ABBA that it's disrespectful to self and SO to Cheeto oneself into hideousness. I'll be eighty some day, but I want to look good for it and still be able to be as fun and active as possible.

P(elderly couple I saw creakily but gamely skiing together this season are my heroes)J