Sorry Cheffy
 

Who is this Amy Lee with the cliches about beating dead horses and not going there and classy?

but more importantly, lets analyze the subtest of this sentence:

and 40-something [editor'snote: Spinster] Sheryl Crow struts onstage in hot pants [editor's note: deluded shriveled ovary case on the verge of menopause trying to take the penske time machine] even as she bemoans that other artists are being marketed like “porn stars.” [editor's note: clearly the oldtimer has pancake tits. jealous much?]

Sorry Cheffy
 

I still haven't figured out if Amy Lee is hot or not. Anyone have any recent good photos?

Oh, and I saw Pink in the gladiator outfit in People. Once again, she should keep her clothes on.

Sorry Cheffy
 

Yeah, Sheryl doesn't sell sex. She sells the trite-est lyrics available. She's the modern day Steve Miller.

Sorry Cheffy
 

Oops you did it again. You are such a fucking moron. Did you take Old School literally?

Breast Implant Poll
 

Real are of course preferrable, but well done conservative fakes are fine. Bulbous fakes and ugly real tits are both turn offs.

As long as the tits are full or perky and mostly round (not too pointy or thin(, they'll generally suffice.

One nice thing about fakes is some chicks who get them become insanely sensitive as a result. I messed around with a chick in law school who had fakes who swore she could come from me sucking her tits. She was a bit much...

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

I knew that brains were a turnoff, but I didnt know that 27 was over the hill. look at this nyt review of a new movie:

Now that Julia Roberts is 36 and Reese Witherspoon 27, the time has come to begin grooming another blushing ingénue to take a turn as the people's princess, Hollywood-style. Right now there is no more likely candidate for that peppermint tiara than Kate Bosworth. This 21-year-old actress, who made a big splash in "Blue Crush," has the glow.

Ms. Bosworth's wide-open face suggests a blend of the younger Ms. Roberts and the pre-Las Vegas Britney Spears. Her aura of fresh-scrubbed integrity is a softer version of Ms. Witherspoon's mystique of thrust-chin goody-goodiness, without seeming namby-pamby. She is neither too brainy nor too much of an airhead for mass appeal. And "Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!," a romantic comedy that has all the edge of an overstuffed cream puff, is just the sort of innocuous vehicle that can carry an aspiring princess another step closer to becoming America's Sweetheart.

Sorry Cheffy
 

You sure are an angry person for someone who just recently got engaged. Already annoyed by him, eh? We're not surprised.

Penske Time Machine
 

Didnt you hook up your wife in college?

Sorry Cheffy
 

Who is we? You and your roommate, Sebby?

Sorry Cheffy
 

Back off. Paigow lost her virginity with "Walks Like A Lady" playing on the radio of her boyfriend's car. Always remember, Ixnay on Slamming Steve Miller.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

They didn't say Reese was over the hill. They said she was not as appealing a personality. She's not. She has this irritating Election quality she brings to her roles. She just unlikable, especially when she's supposed to be most good and virginal like in that remake of Dangerous Liasons.

Penske Time Machine
 

I thought the same thing about bilmore, except I thought he was married before fakes got widespread.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

\

Really? Then why did the artcile start off with "Now that Juilia Roberts is 36 and Reese Witherspoon is 27?" Is that part of losing your personality appeal?

Penske Time Machine
 

Nope. I hooked up with a few of her friends, but never her.

Penske Time Machine
 

Interesting. When did you hooko up with your wife and did you know she was the one when you were banging her friends? You just wanted to save her for later?

Sorry Cheffy
 

We, you know, the entire FB who thinks you're an insecure psycho. Don't tell me you're oblivious to this. It's one giant collective laugh behind your back.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Perhaps as an old spinster you are incapable of distinguishing that someone is no longer a "blushing ingenue" without being over the hill.

Was 27 really that long ago for you that you cannot remember how it feels to be grown up without being old?

Even(welcome to Friday)Odds

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

You just changed your argument, thus proving my point. Thank you. Now go do beer bongs with coltrane.

Speaking of Holes
 

At plaintiffs' firms there is more of a direct connection. Cum bonus time, they simply shoot their pecker snot up your anus instead of a bonus. But in their eyes, that was a bonus.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

I'm not sure what you are trying to say here. That if 27 was a long time ago, you can't now be both grown up and not old? Is 27 the cut-off point before you become "old"?

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Okay, now that's just mean. Leave me out of this.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Your argument techniques are incredibly effective and your logic is flawless. I would hate to have to face you in a negotiation.

Penske Time Machine
 

She hung out in the same crowd I did in college. I always thought she was cute but she dated a cat I knew pretty well for the last two years of school, so I never got a chance.

I met up with her post-school because I just thought she was a cool chick who'd be fun to have a few drinks with. To my surprise, I learned she was no longer involved, so one thing led to another... I missed a train, slept over, and haven't left since.

Oh, but I knew she was "The One" early in the relationship. It was magical. I knew I had a special connection... we held each other, we laughed, we cried... its all a rich tapestry.

Ladies, here's a tip. If you want to grow old lonely, frustrated and dry, use Velveeta terms like "The One" and discuss stupid bullshit like "meeting your one true destined love" within earshot of men. Oh, and talk about SATC... we think that's a great show. You go, Sarah Jessica, you go girl...

If you use the "The One" regularly, you have two options - (a) write for Hallmark; (b) join the nunnery.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

The only thing Reese Witherspoon makes me want to do is fuck her in the ass.

Penske Time Machine
 

Now you're just confusing me. I thought you had a thing for nuns.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Hey, why am I being left out? I'm the fucking roomate!

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

THe article was saying that 27 is a point where you are no longer capalbe of being america's sweetheart and a sweet blushing thing. which of course is total poppycock. when i pointed this out to evenodds, she switched her argument from the article being about Reese no longer being able to be america's sweetheart becuase she is too election like (which has nothing to do with the price of tea in china as far as this story goes- its even's projections on the article) to 27 is too old to be a blushing ingenue bc she realized I was right about age being the big factor is why reese being replaced. even just wasnt mature enough to say she was wrong.

Penske Time Machine
 

Yeh, but they were playing the Sound of Music the other night. Julie Andrews has destroyed my nun fantasy for a few weeks.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Of course you would.

Penske Time Machine
 

But guys, if you want to get the babes, or make sure your existing SO will want you more than ever, just keep talking about what you want to do to Reese Witherspoon's ass. 'Cause we really, really want to hear that.

Penske Time Machine
 

Try Ingrid Bergman. IMHO, she was the sexiest (well, the only sexy) nun in movie history.

Though for you more girl-next-door fans, I believe Mary Tyler Moore played one in an Elvis movie.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Dude, we've got plenty of Busch Light. You can hit it after E/O. I forked out the scratch for this 18-pack anyway.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Lauren Hutton is 60, and I'd still love to bang her. I wouldn't fuck Reese with Coltrane's cock. E/O is right - she's a grating idiot in every one of her roles. She perpetually plays characters you hope die in the first half hour. Age has nothing to do with it.

Julia Roberts was a talentless skank at 25 and will be a talentless skank at 50. The only difference is then she was taking some daring roles and now she's the female equivalent of Robin Williams, the only difference being at least he's funny some of the time. (See: Mona Lisa Smile in comparison to Patch Adams and Good Will Hunting). I'd rather fuck a goat.

Penske Time Machine
 

I think we've established that there's no one around here who uses those types of terms or has that kind of attitude. The only one I can think of that talks about her predestined "one" was DS, and she's very happily married. So why do you persist?

Penske Time Machine
 

When I said I wanted to fuck Reese in the ass, I did not mean it in a "Reese is hot" way. I meant it in a "Goddamn, she's fucking annoying, and someone ought plug something in one of her orifices" sort of way.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

My point was that the New York Times wrote a movie review about a movie about some chick from WVA winning a date with a movie star and prefaced the article with two paragraphs on aging women and why we need a new americas sweetheart. Not whether Reese was ever really worthy of the crown in the first place.

Penske Time Machine
 

If she's annoying, I'd think you'd want to plug a different orifice.

Penske Time Machine
 

Sebby thinks everyone talks out of their ass.

Penske Time Machine
 

I didn't mean "Ladies" in relation to this board. I meant it in relation to the 26 year old idiot, who after her third Cosmopolitan at happy hour tonight, will bend my ear about "Howww did you know [wife] was the onnne? I mean, like, I'm dating this guy, and he's great, but he's always going out with his friends and..." Men do this stupid shit too. I have one friend who calls me up and ttells me all about each GF, and how she's fantastic. He goes through excruciating detail about the chick, pausing to have me validate her wonderfulness. I usually scan news sites while he's talking and say "Sounds great" every 50 seconds.

If you can't figure out when you're in love or whena person is right for you, you probably shouldn't be getting involved.

Penske Time Machine
 

And in one deft move, Sebastian rehabilitates himself in Purse Junkie's eyes. Well played, my good man.