Music haters
 

Ohmigod! I do exactly the same thing with the Sound of Music soundtrack. It's like we're two sides of the same coin.

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

Since it sounds like you're a little too caught up in the hipper than thou scene for new music, yeah, some recent jazz is kind of new music lite. Of course, some of it is also elevator music. We'll see what you're drawn to.

POLL
 

All this music talk has got me thinking. What is the stupidest song you've ever heard?

I have to go with R. Kelly's "You Remind Me Of Something." I mean, talk about objectification.

I generally hate contemporary R&B, but this is on another level. Check out the lyrics, as I'm sure most of you haven't heard it, even though it was a pretty big hit.

You Remind Me Of Something

You remind me of something
I just can’t think of what it is, uh

You remind me of my jeep (I wanna ride it)
Somethin’ like my sound (I wanna pump it, baby)
Girl, you look just like my cars (I wanna wax it)
And somethin’ like my bank account (I wanna spend it, baby)

It’s somethin’ about your love that’s got me goin’ crazy
(Baby, you know I want you real bad)
And girl, I really like your freaky style, oh, babe
(How can I be down with you)

So get a little closer to my ride, baby
(Oh, I, I wanna get to know you, lady)
And hip me up on how to get inside you
Listen, pretty baby

(I wanna roll) I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it (Yeah)
Is all I wanna do for you, baby
Girl, it’s somethin’ kinda sexy
Goin’ on about you, babe

[Dumbass chorus 2x]

Now I would like to take you on a ride tonight, yeah
(Girl, you know we’ll have so much fun)
And give you everything your body needs, mmm
(Satisfaction guaranteed)

So pull up to my bumper and let the system sound
(Girl, I bet ya I can drive you crazy)
And let me be the one to drop you off
Babe, listen to me

(I wanna roll) I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it
Is all I wanna do for you, baby
Girl, it’s somethin’ kinda sexy
Goin’ on about you, babe

[Dumbass chorus 2x]

Don’t be alone (Don’t be alone)
I’m comin’ through your door (I’m comin’ through your door)
I’m here tonight (Turn off the lights, baby)
It’s somethin’ about this moment

[Dumbass chorus 2x]

Thurgreed(beat that)Marshall

Music haters
 

Now you are hip. Blast those audio books, too. I suggest a little Gravity's Rainbow, since it will have some of the same words as the Eminem.

POLL
 

Hey, give the man a break. He had to make the connection between sex and his car to impress all the 15 year old honeys looking forward to their first ride.

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

You need a lesson in sarcasm. PLF is making you look foolish because he most likely already has a huge jazz collection.

Don't go toe-to-toe with him on music. That guy has a huge wealth of knowledge from which to draw, to pummel you over the head with.

TM

Most Stupid Song Poll
 

"I Got My Mind Set On You" by George Harrison. It was perfectly accurately parodied by Weird Al in a song called "This Song Is Just Six Words Long."

Most Stupid Song Poll
 

That's weird. Because I count seven in each of those songs.

TM

Doe, a deer
 

GO.

POLL
 

Off the top of my head I would say --

I'm Too Sexy -- Right Said Fred

or

These Boots Are Made for Walking - Nancy Sinatra

or

My Dingaling - Chuck Berry

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

I assume you are kidding. Perhaps I am being generous, but that is my assumption.

The problem with setting up straw men and knocking them down is that you begin to look a little silly because everybody knows that it is not very difficult to defeat straw, given that straw is inanimate and generally innocuous.

Of course some bands are in small clubs because they suck. And some are there because they have little commercial potential, but are still quite good. And some are there because, even though they have comercial potential, this comercial potential has not been tapped yet. Some of these latter bands suck and some do not. I am not saying that you should only go to small clubs to see bands. I'm not saying that no commercially-accepted bands are worthwhile. I am making a different point. A point about actually LISTENING to music instead of just wading into the tepid and stagnant waters of all the music you remember from when you were thirteen. Your soul will drown in those waters. I am also making a point about peaches.

Now, I would love to write here all day, providing tips about how you all can lead happier and more fulfilling lives by being more like me, but I am an extremly busy and important attorney, so you are going to have to take the advice I have given you so far and fend for yourselves. Good luck.

POLL
 

I can beat that easily:

Anything by Limp Bizkit.

Alternatively, Mr. Roboto or Stairway to Heaven

Oh, and lets not forget everything by Creed.

Most Stupid Song Poll
 

My reply has nothing to do with your post and everything to do with your title - I don't think Jesus is happy.

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

Is listening to weird stuff that no one was ever really into an option? I mean like, the kind of jazz that's so dissonant it causes people to run screaming from the room.

Sidd(help me TM, I don't wanna be old)Finch

Most Stupid Song Poll
 

Right. Which supports my nomination anyway.