Penske Time Machine
 

I thought wanting to fuck someone in the ass meant one of the following:

1) she's a butterface
2) she has pancake tits
3) she has floppy woo
4) you would rather be with a man

Penske Time Machine
 

Third Friday of the month?

Next week we are scheduled have "all lawyers are toolish nerds" on Tuesday and "fat people disgust me" on Friday.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

If I were king, I'd hunt down the little shit who invents crap statements like "America's Sweetheart" and boil him in poison oil. Can there be a more vacant, obnoxiously stupid description of a person? I guess applying it to Roberts is appropriate.

I get Entertainment and People for some reason (never ordered them - they just started coming one week and haven't stopped). I read these articles and think to myself, "We're dooomed... doomed I tell you."

Hockey-related Taxwonking, part un.
 

She is clearly a Fishsticks fan. Despite this, I like her.

Apropos of the Rangers, they sucked against the Flyers last night. Of course, when your goalie gets clobbered and knocked-out of the game by the other team's power foward, it might not be helpful.

I told Sather to get the then-expendable Cujo from the hated Red Wings before the season started. But he merely chuckled and said, "Not Bob, Detroit will get desperate to dump him and his large wallet in a few months. It can wait." Now he's screwed.

Finally, I give you some hockey haiku:

Mark is 43
and an All Star? Wow. Teenaged
Nash calls him "daddy."

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

That is sort of my point. Like why the lofty NYT needs to stoop to the level of a People or an Entertainment Weekly.

Penske Time Machine
 

I know. Either way, it has the same allure.

The Real Reason We Should Love Kate Bosworth
 

I saw Topher Grace on the Ellen show yesterday and he said that he grew up with Kate in none other than Darien, CT.

As, the joy of the Lestertini
 

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by LessinSF
Haven't read the board for three days (and don't have time to now), so forgive me if NFH has already broke the story that Jeff Garcia had a .237 blood alcohol level - http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artic.../JEFFGARCIA.TMP

Less (yeah, he had "a few" drinks) inSF
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


What was Garcia doing with two women in his vehicle?

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Two things:

1. With respect to the magazine subscriptions, either:
a) you're lying, or

b) someone has played a prank on you.

2. You do a lot of bathroom reading.

Do you also accept Pizzas "mysteriously" delivered to your door?

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

aka The Chewbacca Defense



(I just learned this term today -- so I'm practicing using it in context -- did I do it right?)

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

My wife signined some sort of trial subscription thing for several magazines. I used to get People, Maxim, Entertainment, Playboy, FHM, Rolling Stone, Newsweek, Time and even the Economist for a while. Now, since I never renewed, everything but Rolling Stone, Newsweek and Entertainment and People have stopped.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

I can't quite get what you're saying about Patch Adams here -- I can't tell if you think it's good or abysmal (and it has nothing to do with my ignorance of how pleasant or unpleasant you find goat-fucking.)

I ask because "Patch Adams" in my household is a code word for the absolute nadir in cinematic "accomplishment".

(Horses/folks and all that -- but you don't really think Patch Adams was a good movie do you?)

Penske Time Machine
 

This is why most guys seem to have no knowledge whatsoever about the lives of people they've known for like 20 years. I'm constantly amazed, for example, about how little guys know about their own SOs--they couldn't answer one of the basic "whoopie" questions on the fucking Newlywed Game, when after 2 dinner parties I already know the SO's life story and that she's planning to leave Clueless Blockhead for another guy.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

dtb- had you learned nothing from Good Morning Vietnam? Cardinal Rule Number One of filmgoing- do not see a Robin Williams dramedy.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

I recognize my grammar left the point vague, but I'm hurt that you'd think I would laud Patch Adams.

Like a knife in my heart.

Penske Time Machine
 

I bet you also know the birth weights of all of your friends' children and their first through sixth choices for baby names.

That's nice.

Penske Time Machine
 

No, I have no problems dealing with a friend going through a divorce or something serious like that. My ire is reserved for those cloying imbeciles who need reinforcement for every single thing they do in a relationship. I've fucked up lots of shit in my life, but my personal relationships is not one of them. I frankly don't know how you can fuck up personal relationships if you communicate properly. Most of these annoying fuckers who need reinforcement are into game playing. They don't come right out and say what they mean to the people with whom they're involved. You can't hide the ball or hedge or play games and expect to have a meaningful relationship with anyone.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Oh hell, they probably did the same thing citing Ah-nold and Stallone when Vin Diesel came onto the scene in Pitch Black. Or the Rock in The Runaway.

There are actors that generally fill in certain archetypal characters in Hollywood, and we, the movie going audience, generally expect that there will be some cute early twenty something type (usually American, but not always) to star in a series of romantic comedies and thrillers. These actresses generally do the same type of role for a few years and then do their "serious" role and move on beyond the innocent but resilient girl who gets a few hard knocks but is triumphent in the end (unless she dies tragically). Reece Witherspoon doesn't really fit the model, because most of her early work has been making fun of that archetype (see Freeway, Election, Pleasantville, American Psycho and Legally Blonde.) Julia Ormond tried for a few years (Legends of the Fall, First Knight, and Sabrina), but she wasn't really good. Kate Beckensale also tried (Much Ado About Nothing, Brokedown Palace) but she deviated from the path and tried to come back to the role when she was too old (Pearl Harbor, Serendipity). Drew Barrymore's personal, er, history prevented her from ever getting that role, though she tried in Never Been Kissed. Renee Zelwigger probably had the title for awhile, especially after Jerry Maguire. Kirsten Dunst probably is a hell of a lot closer than anyone else at this point to filling that role (and she was born in 1982, so she's got some years to hold the title if she wants it), though since she's been acting for so long, she may want to do something else. Thora Birch, Christina Ricci, Claire Danes, Natalie Portman, Winona Ryder, and a variety of others didn't make the cut because they did too many dark and off beat characters. Katie Holmes, Selma Blair, the American Pie cast, all of them are too no-name or too low-brow and don't have the star qualities. Gwyneth didn't make the cut because she's never really exuded cute.

I don't know if this particular person is going to fill the archetype, but it's probably either her or Mandy Moore.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Let's just have it be Scarlett Johanssen

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

I don't care if its Ernest Borgnine in a dress, just get rid of Julia Roberts.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

You have not convinced me that you are reading People and Us Weekly.

I stand by my choice of me for entertainment trivia.




Mandy Moore

Penske Time Machine
 

Zipper cat or bottle cat?

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

All I can say is, "WHEW!"

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Maggie Moore, as in the girflriend of Amos Roddick?

I think Kate Hudson has the americas sweetheart crown at the moment in terms of who makes the most money. Actually, I though reese had it until legally blonde 2 (bc it sucked, not that I saw it, not bc she was too old). but kate is like 25 now I think so she probably is too old for it as well. it was a short run, huh? how to lose a guy in ten days.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

My daughter assures me that it's Hillary Duff.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

this made me lol.

Note to Bilmore's kid: Hillary Duff is too cheezy to be America's sweetheart. Not going to happen.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Mandy Moore, who probably will never be taken seriously by the movie-goers because she's a pop queen too. She's in some movie that's out right now that I have no interest in seeing.

Kate Hudson isn't a bad choice either.

Oh, Sandra Bullock tried too, but she's never going to be an A-list actor, and she got into the game pretty late.

Scarlett Johansen does the off-beat stuff, and she's not "cute" enough. (I'd much rather watch someone like her than these vapid cutsies, but I'm talking about both the archetype and the person who can command the box office. She doesn't fit into either role, and to her credit, I dont' think she wants to.)

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

How long before Kate divorces that cat from the Black Crowes who lookes like Mr. Burns with bad pre-puescent facial hair?

I give it another two years.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Sandra Bullock is about as sexual as Dan Rather. She could be a trannie.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

I don't know exactly who it is. Hillary Duff is pretty popular among the kiddies, but maybe that's the problem, just like I can't see either of the Olsen Twins making the jump (sorry, Coltrane). If I were to guess, I'd say someone (who started in) television will make the jump.

Amanda Bynes, maybe? Come to think of it, she may suffer from the same problem as H.D., but at least she's smart enough not to sing.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

I doubt they ever will for some reason. BUt here is to hoping. Only one of my three fave bands is currently making music and that isnt enough. And I only saw the crowes live once. albeit with theallmans, on stage at the same time, but still.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

The reason is because she's turned Chris Robinson into a total pussy.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

She's not the archetype anymore and she proved it by bombing America's Sweethearts so badly. Since then, she's going to focus on either walk-ons that she can do it in her sleep (Ocean's 11, Ocean's 12, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind) or follow the path that Michelle Pfeiffer who is about ten years older than she is did (compare Mona Lisa's Smile (2003) to Dangerous Minds (1996)). She's also going to try and reinvent herself as a sexy older woman (see Confessions of a...), which isn't going to work Every few years she'll pull out something to try and get Oscar attention, and in about ten to fifteen years, she'll start getting the roles that Susan Surrandon gets now. Not the Meryl Streep good actress roles, but the more spitfire, not as hard to play roles.

The Sports Guy: Year of the Phony
 

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/040123.html

Excerpts on topics recently discussed on the FB:'



I turned on Isiah during his prime, when his frozen smile disguised a cheapshot artist and poor sport, not to mention he was the ringleader of those physical Pistons teams that almost ruined basketball. He was nearly exposed after blaspheming the Basketball Jesus ("If Bird were black ... "), but it was only when he and his loser teammates stormed off against MJ's Bulls that we saw the real Isiah. And you wonder why they left him off the Dream Team. Since then he's burned bridges in Detroit and Toronto, struggled famously as a talking head, destroyed the CBA and stumbled comically as Indiana's coach. Now we get to watch him screw up the Knicks, which obviously isn't a bad thing. I just want to know why he keeps getting chances. Shouldn't you have to display some degree of competence to land six high-profile jobs in less than a decade? When he's running for president in 2008, don't say I didn't warn you.


Then there's [Pete] Rose: hypocrite, serial liar, degenerate gambler. He finally admitted betting on baseball, but only to hawk his book and weasel his way into Cooperstown. Yes, I was lying for the past 14 years, but I feel sorry now, and oh, by the way, can I be in the Hall? How can we let him profit off this crap? Shouldn't the Son of Sam laws apply here? If it were up to me, I'd put him in the Hall -- in the basement, next to the furnace, with a plaque that lists all the indefensible things he did. What a slime.

But the ultimate con man is Clemens. He's now skipped town three times: once for money, once for a ring and once because he fell in love with Andy Pettitte. Sox fans were outraged after Clemens said he'd play only in Boston or Texas, then signed in Canada for a few extra bucks, muttering a few stilted words of thanks on his way out. Toronto fans were outraged when Clemens' agents brokered an iffy trade to Gotham. And Yankee fans were outraged because they'd resisted Clemens for years, finally accepting him after he fondled Babe Ruth's statue enough times. God, what a phony. As soon as they bought into his "I want to retire as a Yankee" rhetoric, he reamed them. Instead of a farewell tour, they got "Farewell, suckers!"

The Sports Guy: Year of the Phony
 

Damn. The thing that surprises me most is that he considers Clemens worse than Rose.

Honestly, I don't like Clemens either, but how is he worse in doing what he did than say, Bill Parcells has been?

Screw America's Sweetheart
 

Well, who really cares who "America's Sweetheart" is? I mean, there will always be a light-haired actress with a nice build and cute smile somehwere for the role, right?

What I want to know is, where is the younger actress that can play the Jodie Foster/Laura Dern roles? Is it Uma Thurman? Is she good enough for those roles? Someone else?

Breast Implant Poll
 

True, but there are some that become sensitive but not in a good way. Then there are those that become insensitive. It's a crap shoot.

Screw America's Sweetheart
 

Sebby, the sweetheart type isn't supposed to be sexy. She'd be too threatening to women then, and they wouldn't go to see her movies.

Uma is getting up there (When the hell is Kill Bill Volume 2 coming out anyways? I thought it was supposed to be out in January), and she's definitely going for more of the sex appeal than the cuteness. She's definitely trying her hand at different stuff. She's 33 (or so she claims), and she's sort of reinventing herself after taking off a lot of time (I think to have kids). I don't see Foster or Dern making an Avengers type of mis-step, though Sommersby was probably just as bad.

Sorry Cheffy
 

Again, Hank, you show your age.

Maybe coltrane was right?
 

Wow, I have a new found respect for you. I never heard his solo album but I did catch the closing credits to Bangor Sisters (my future life story- I amthe goldie hawn character) and he was singig and it was practically lite fm. heartbreaking for the wrong reasons.