Spanky
 

I have three cats: Sam, Porkchop and Squishy. Honest.

Spanky
 

For what it's worth, I have met the man, and he was generous, personable and friendly. He is also apparently used to nice, non-sarcastic people, which explains his confusion acclimating to this place. God speed Spanky, god speed.

Spanky
 

Yeah, that sort of explains why I think he seems like a wide eyed ingenue. I almost dont want to talk to him and spoil that sweet innocence that I lost say six years ago.

And the cat thing was sweet.

Spanky
 

Thanks for the compliment. I didn't take any of your money that night?

Spanky
 

You really should have run the contract by me before signing any endorsement deals.

Spanky
 

Off my corner, ho!

Spanky
 

I think you took a bit of everyone's money, so yes. It's okay though, because when you weren't looking, I spit in your drink.

Spanky
 

So flinty never told you about my representation of him? He was so impressed with my pro bono work on his behalf that he brought a hefty retainer over to my office the next day. What's the going rate for a gross of bananas, anyway?

Spanky
 

I'm sorry Gatti, but she looks a lot better in a swimsuit than you do. Please send over my files. And a suggestion--lose the two piece.

Cross post for Spanky because he fears the FB
 

WASHINGTON - Porn star, political candidate. And now you can add one more line to Mary Carey’s résumé: Republican booster.

"Carey was in Washington on Tuesday to attend the President’s Dinner, an annual fund-raiser put on by the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee."

“I met a lot of nice people,” Carey said of the lunch, where presidential adviser Karl Rove spoke. “I met some people who talked about helping me with donating money to my next campaign.”

Yes. Donation. That's what it was. Honest. It was a donation.

She plans to run for lieutenant governor of California next year as an independent. But her trip to Washington has swayed Carey’s political leanings. She says she’s been a Republican “for a couple of days.”

Have you hugged your lawyer today? You really should.
 

"When adjusted for sociodemographics, lawyers suffer depression at a rate 360% higher than employed persons generally. Lawyers also suffer from alcoholism and illegal drug use at rates far higher than non-lawyers. The divorce rate among lawyers, especially women, is higher than among other professionals."

p177 Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman

Spanky
 

He is so literal that you have to wonder if he is really just operating on a higher level of sarcasm.

I think you should fuck him. We need a new recurring thread for the next five years.

Spanky
 

OTOH, I have met you, and you look and smell exactly like your avatar. Take it from the source, people.

Spanky
 

2. I've taken the slave train about as far as it will go. I need some new material. spanky, what is your chest hair like?

Have you hugged your lawyer today? You really should.
 

It's true. We're like the Green Berets of bedshitting.