Good grief. The man does get around, doesn't he? How* did paigow resist his charms?

*assuming for the purposes of this post that the paigow perspective on their legendary, nay mythic FB encounter** is accurate.

**a/k/a Rashomon II.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

I feel like I am in a Seinfeld episode.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

These women must be the obnoxious shrieking high-maintenance Bridezillas on that horrible reality TV show set in NYC. No one else could get obsessed with such petty-ass hysterical control-freak insecure shallow poseur bullshit.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

To keep their numbers down and because they think it's not nearly as big a deal as sex sex.

Come on. You can't consider handjobs to be sex for purposes of counting.

TM

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

They could keep their numbers down further by adopting a "didn't pay for dinner" rule.

(Yes, I realized it is a joke. I just don't believe that people who say things like that are completely joking, and I don't want that shit ascribed to me (as a single female)).

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

That rule makes it possible for many men to claim they have never had sex.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

Hmmmmm . . . maybe the differential in numbers between males and females is based on a rule that a person has had sex if another person intentionally induced orgasm through physical contact. So, if I give you a handjob you have had sex, but I have not (selfish bastard).

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

I'm pretty sure that the definitive treatise on this subject is Clerks.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

The only excuse I can offer for the god-awful phrasing of that post is that I've been reading a god-awful passive voice long (and Latin!) words memo written by a young pup. Internal memos should not use Latin. Especially not Latin I don't ever, EVER recall seeing before. And if you do use the Latin, explain what it means.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

No, it's because women lie:

Study (Ohio St. researchers learned that, when hooked up to a (non-functioning) lie detector, women admitted to having more sexual partners than when asked to write number on questionaire).

Anyway, maybe we need multiple numbers, in order to smoke out the UES pipe-smokers: Number of sexual partners; number of blow jobs/cunnilingus; number of other hookups. You know, just for completeness.:rolleyes:

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

I am embarrassed by my sex.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

Blow jobs are simply not sex.

Bill Clinton was correct in differentiating oral sex from sex. They are worlds apart for two very obvious logical reasons.

One, you can get pregnant or diseased from one, but not the other.

Two, you cannot in good conscience say "I slept with [x]" if all you did was go down on him/her.

S(the simple rule is that penetration of the vagina or anus by a penis must occur for any act to qualify as sex*)D

* Unless you're a gay male, you cannot count anal sex as regular sex. You must call it "anal sex."

** Gay women have a much more open definition for obvious reasons.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

Wow if having an orgasm is a requirement for it to be considered sex, my number just dropped significantly.

who were you?
 

So here is how to figure who you were in your past life.

past life
I guess I was an Indian man.


I do not know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere around the territory of modern North India approximately in 1425.
Your profession was builder of houses, temples, cathedrals.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in that past life:
You had mind of a scientist, always seeking new explanations. Environment often misunderstood him, but respected his knowledge.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lesson, that your last past life brought to present:
Your lesson -- to study, to practice and to use wisdom, enclosed in psychological sciences, and in ancient manuscripts. With strong faith and hard work you will reach your real destiny in present life.

Edited to add - oral sex is not sex. No matter whose rules you use.

Weekend stuff -- the Number
 

One, do you honestly think it's not possible to get STDs from oral sex? That would explain all those "cold sores."

Two, under my system, if I went down on someone and s/he didn't reciprocate, s/he had sex but I did not. If someone goes down on me, and I don't reciprocate, I had sex and s/he didn't.

Not that I'm saying my system should be used. It's pointless in any event because apparently everyone lies.