Because it's obligatory
 

I vomited with rage until I could assure myself that it wasn't that Larry Ellison.

I think there's a squad of Portugese water dogs that are trained for retrieving the balls. For a time, they also talked about shutting down boating in McCovey Cove during games to avoid the Athenian trireme action between competing kayakers when a HR ball hit the water.

I don't listen to the guys who say that you're bad for me and I should turn you away
 

Apropos of nothing, I now have Tracey Ullman's version of "They Don't Know About Us" playing on my mental soundtrack.

Oh, and str8 and gwink -- sorry about cursing the Leafs yet again. I will make no more predictions involving a series I care about.

And Barry Melrose ripped Alexi Kovalev a new one on ESPN tonight. Much more damning than having Don Cherry call you bad names.

AI Review
 

Movie soundtrack theme. A split night -- some very very good performances and some not so good ones.

The Huffman: George, George, George. You have to pick songs that fit your voice, not songs that reflect your AI experience. Band song choice; not in his range. Very disappointing performance from him. But on the strength of his overall performances I voted for him a zillion times. He is too good to get voted off this week.

Jennifer: She is the Kim L. of AI3. It's like a whole difference person took her place -- one who doesn't wear weird pink outfits and connects with the audience. And she sang a Whitney song and did a great job.

JPL: The upside is that it was a fun performance and he didn't get excessively geeky with his dancing. The downside is that it really didn't show his singing voice. But it doesn't matter -- he's going to get a ton of votes because someone likes him. Either that or tm diva has a commercial speed dial and racks up the votes for him!

Diana D: Oh please, not Titanic!! Ohhhhhhhhhh nooooooooo! She was a little flat and was also screamy. The best part was hearing what Simon said while the audience was applauding -- I couldn't catch all the words but it was something about the audience giving that a standing ovation, yuck.

Fantasia: I absolutely love the song "Summertime." But I'm not sure I've heard many performances of it better than hers. This was Wow inducing and I'm glad I have it on tape to watch again. I hit "redial" over and over and over.

Jasmine: This is the best I've heard from her in a few weeks. But Simon is right about her and Diana -- they are teens and should be singing younger stuff. They aren't in the same league as the more mature voices of Jennifer, Fantasia and LaToya and can't compete with them on the same types of songs.

Red John: It was a good song choice for him but he didn't wow me with it. Simon was right about him not having charisma and it being at least in part because of his age. I still like his voice and style but didn't vote for him.

LaToya: Another great performance. Tonight belonged to Jennifer, Fantasia and LaToya. If they aren't the top 3 vote getters, people have wax in their ears.

Based on performances, the bottom 3 should be Red John, Diana and one of Jasmine, JPL or, if the voting is based only on tonight's performance, George. I think either John or Diana will be voted off.

Speaking of My Breast Implants
 

[POST DELETED BY ADMINS FOR VIOLATION BY POSTER OF BANISHMENT FOR MULTIPLE TOS VIOLATIONS-e/o)

Speaking of My Breast Implants
 

I told you not to fuck with me, monkey.

AI Review
 

Could Quentin Tarantino BE more annoying?

George should know better than to pick such a white man's song. Phil Collins?!?! It didn't sound good at all. It almost sounded like he may have caught Diana Degarmo's cold or something.

Jennifer sounded great, and not at all sharp to my ears. Unlike many past and current AI singers, she has a big enough voice to go after a Whitney song. Didn't really like her dress, though (or Diana's or Fantasia's), and visible stretch marks are always a bad idea.

Jon Peter sounded better than he has in a couple of weeks--no pitch problems. He has good energy and charisma, but I really don't see him as a recording star. TV star, yes, singer, no. That said, if he goes home before Diana, Jasmine or John I'll be pissed, and if he goes home after any of the black singers I'll be even more pissed.

Diana sounded completely bleah. There is no warmth in her tone and no spin in her voice. Simon was right about the teenage singers--they just don't have the life experience to be able to give a song emotional depth.

Fantasia didn't give a flawless performance (a couple of off notes in the middle of the song), but overall this was amazing, just amazing. She had distinctive and surprising and good stylings, and nailed the emotional intensity. Best of all, she ended the song straight, with no annoying yeah yeah yeahs!! Bird must have said something to her about it. My favorite performance of the night.

Jasmine SUCKED. And not just by contrast with Fantasia. I think the judges were way too nice to her, probably because she had to follow the best performance of the night. Her pitch was totally off for most of the song. Her voice is showing damage (wide vibrato) from oversinging. And see above re youth and lack of emotional depth.

John the Red was better than he's been, but overall he's just a total lightweight, vocally and in every other way. The stylists seem to be trying to turn him into Clay with the hair and the clothes, and last week I even caught him doing that oh-so-annoying eyelid fluttering thing. STOP!! Clay had annoying vocal and eyelid mannerisms, but at least he can sing.

Latoya was almost too perfect. I think she is beautiful and has a killer voice, but she doesn't connect with the audience in the way that, say, George does. I still expect her to be in the top four.

Bottom three should be the teenagers, and almost surely will include Diana and Jasmine. John has a lot of fans, however, and his rightful and well-deserved place in the cellar could be taken by one of the other guys.

tm

ATTN: Large Breasted Women
 

Why would the rest of us even bother with bras? We're all going to sag anyway since we don't have implants. It would be more useful to post a site about jock straps with two cups.

Because it's obligatory
 

They were reporting that is was Larry Ellison, a "computer salesman." Unfortunately for the real one, I doubt he could get his
yacht into McCovey cove.

Didn't the water dogs lose their retrieving job when, after the first day, someone realized it would be "cool" to sit out there in a boat for four hours, waiting for a home run ball?

Because it's obligatory
 

When I saw a quick film clip of this on the news, the first thing I though of was y'all.

It wasn't quite as disturbing as discovering my first thought on hearing of JFKJr's plane crash to be "huh, that dude needs to change his moniker," but it was a little unnerving.

actual lira question
 

Isn't is maybe something thousand million? That's 400 followed by 12 zeros or 400 000 000 000 000. Even applying the approximate exchange rate I remember for ITL/$ (2000 lira to the dollar), that's 200 000 000 000, or $200 billion dollars. That's a big escrow fund, but maybe I'm jut revealing myself as a small time rube.

$200 million, which is about what 400 thousand million (or 400 billion) lira, seems far more reasonable to this rube.

gay marriage tax question
 

If you are gay and got married in the US, like, for example, Rosie O'Donnell, can you file your taxes as a married person with your spouse? Anyone know what is being advised on this issue?

gay marriage tax question
 

It might not come up this year. Were gay marriages legal anywhere in the US in 2003 or did they start up in 2004?

(bad with timelines)

gay marriage tax question
 

I think they may have been legal for part of 2003 in some places, but I'm not sure (I'm also bad - with dates in general, and taxes, for that matter). You are right that the question would come up more in 2005 when they are filing the 2004 returns.

gay marriage tax question
 

Well, there's the law and then there's what happens in practice. Under the protection of marriage act, or whatever it's called, I don't think gay married people are allowed to file federal taxes as a married couple, even if california considers them married.

The fact is, however, a lot of gay people who live together file their taxes as married couples. Your 1040 doesn't ask your gender and the automated systems that check your tax return are not able to distinguish "male" names from "female" names.

Even if a gay couple were audited, I highly doubt the examiner would say anything about their filing status.

actual lira question
 

You are correct. It was 400 thousand million lira (they don't say 400 billion lira, for some reason, although now I suppose that's because they do all these deals in Euros).

You are also a tool for doing the math. Just so you know.