Y'all are on crack
 

I think his main point was that he got the tickets at a deep discount.

Right now, someone is posting on a board for obscure actresses that she went to the Madonna concert and talked to a lawyer who got his tickets at a deep discount.

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

Um, SD, that was you, and you were the catcher, and I gave you the percocet because I don't like hurting people.

Y'all are on crack
 

Actually, I went to the Madonna concert just so that I could tell y'all, and my other imaginary friends, that I went to the Madonna concert.

Adios muchachos. It's been fun.

Y'all are on crack
 

Babe, honey, sweetie pie, if you are going to mention going to a concert and not talk about how it sucks, we are going to assume you are a fan. Because why else would you bring it up? The crosswalk part of the original post did not require bringing Madonna in, and the rest of the post was about Madonna.

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

So you HAVE had anal sex.

The truth always comes out.

About Last Night
 

First the Sting fan club and now Madonna concerts?

Location in Dallassfucking
 

Well, I NEVER...

You lousy two-timer.

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

So, you HAVE had double anal? Cool...

Y'all are on crack
 

I don't have any deep affection for Madonna, but I'd go to her concert if I had a deep discount for tickets. I imagine it'd be an entertaining show.

Speaking of entertaining shows, the Memorial Day weekend movie schedule looks bleak. I've seen Van Helsing (don't waste your money) and Shrek 2 (spend your money). I know without seeing the movie that the book is better than the movie Troy. I keep thinking that they've already made The Day After Tomorrow in another 20 or 30 forms. I have no interest in Raising Helen or New York Minute. Soul Plane looks like one of those movies where all of the funny parts made the trailer and the rest of the movie just sucks. Maybe Mean Girls will tie me over. But if this is what the summer blockbuster season is going to be like, fast forward me to the Oscar pandering season.

More entertaining show news:

I think there are some more acts here for ACL:

Fri 09/17/04 "Austin City Limits Music Festival"
Fri 09/17/04 Dale Watson
Fri 09/17/04 Joe Ely
Fri 09/17/04 Louque
Fri 09/17/04 Neko Case
Fri 09/17/04 Particle
Fri 09/17/04 ReBirth Brass Band
Fri 09/17/04 Solomon Burke
Fri 09/17/04 Tea Leaf Green
Fri 09/17/04 Terri Hendrix
Fri 09/17/04 Blind Boys Of Alabama

Sat 09/18/04 "Austin City Limits Music Festival"
Sat 09/18/04 Big Head Todd & The Monsters
Sat 09/18/04 Bruce Robison
Sat 09/18/04 Marcia Ball
Sat 09/18/04 Pixies
Sat 09/18/04 Reckless Kelly
Sat 09/18/04 The Gourds
Sat 09/18/04 The Killers
Sat 09/18/04 The Wailers
Sat 09/18/04 Trey Anastasio
Sat 09/18/04 Troy Campbell
Sat 09/18/04 Walter "Wolfman" Washington

Sun 09/19/04 "Austin City Limits Music Festival"
Sun 09/19/04 American Analog Set
Sun 09/19/04 Calexico
Sun 09/19/04 Doyle Bramhall
Sun 09/19/04 Kelly Willis
Sun 09/19/04 Los Lonely Boys
Sun 09/19/04 Medeski Martin and Wood
Sun 09/19/04 Shelby Lynne

Kobe
 

Kobe Bryant just seems wired different from anyone else. Watching him weirds me out. Bill Simmons is spot on:

• Kobe? Never has someone played at such a high level and looked so profoundly tormented, so singlemindedly joyless, so utterly disconnected from his teammates. Maybe there isn't any other way. It's just been awkward. That's the only word to describe it. There was a jarring scene during the postgame of Game 4, when the cameras caught Kobe walking in the runway towards the locker room. He spotted his wife and baby, raised his arms happily and skipped over to them, kissing them both as the security guards and hangers-on pretended not to watch. Everyone was probably thinking the same thing: Hi, honey, how was your rape trial today? Just plain awkward. Poor Ernie Johnson couldn't throw it to the break fast enough.

How long before he joins a cult or something?

Brush with obscurity.
 

I sat behind Jeroen Krabbé at Mass once. I shook his hand. (I considered not washing it, but my distracted use of the Holy Water font on the way out made this a moot point.) The Mass was also attended by a HUGELY recognizable A-list celeb couple, so for the first time in my life, I felt a tinge of sadness for character actors. I exchanged a knowing look with my new intimate, Mr. Krabbé, to let him know that I appreciated his work and wasn't wowed by the much brighter star power five pews up. Now, every time I tell this story I have to look up his name on IMDB --- and not just for spelling.

Anyone else weirdly proud of a minor celeb encounter? Bonus points if you peed on them, or were asked to.

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

You said that SD had been the catcher and that you gave him percocet because you don't like to hurt people.

No double anal here, alas.

OK, not really alas.

Y'all are on crack
 

Maybe it was a dream.

TM

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

In the end.

(Sorry.)

TM

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

My point was that I have had anal sex just like you have had double anal (i.e. never).

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

Along with the Santorum.

Brush with obscurity.
 

I went to a party at the house of John Savage a few years ago with my boss, who got so drunk he could barely stand. Nevertheless he wanted to drive. When we found him, he was on his back in the front seat, trying to work the key into the ignition. Savage (who was entirely not drunk and playing the responsible host) and I got him to sit up, surrender the key, get out of the car, and get into the back seat. As we drove away, my boss was on his back in the back seat, muttering about how embarrassed he was to be so drunk in front of John Savage. "John Savage is telling me I can't drive. John Savage is taking the keys away from me."

I hadn't known who John Savage was until my boss told me on the way to the party.

Brush with obscurity.
 

Joss Whedon showed up as a surprise to a friend of mine's birthday party. I think he was just going to stop at the restaurant for a few minutes to say happy birthday, but he ended up joining the party. We ended up bar hopping and then back in someone's hotel suite. He and I took charge of raiding the mini bar, and he made me his test subject for a variety of mixed drinks involving Snapple.

Y'all are on crack
 

My son tried the same argument for the Wiggles appearance in Chicago. I thought it was lame when he used it, too.

Brush with obscurity.
 

John Mahoney and I shared thoughts on the true magnificence that is the corned beef sandwich at Manny's once. I had the yellow mustard and horseradish; John had the brown mustard. I gave him one of my extra pickles because the counter guy always gives me three.

He never liked Eddie.

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

Two things:

1. Look at the picture more closely. Thats you wearing the pigtail wig.

2. What is double anal? I've consulted my Grey's Anatomy - its unpossible.

Y'all are on crack
 

Translation: Tossed Salad. Yummy, yummy.
Tossed Salad. Yummy, yummy.
yummy yummy yummy yummy tossed salad!

TM

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

I would never try double anal. But if I did, it would be on alas.

About Last Night
 

You got. A song parody classic by Someone Far More Clever Than Me.

To be sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man":

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
Still slaving away at Paul Weiss.
There's an old brief sitting next to me-
I've already filed it twice.
Law, law law, diddy daw,
Law law law law law law.

The partner said, "Find me a precedent,
Though I'm not really sure of the cite.
It's in an F. Supp.-
Now, I've got to schtupp,
But you, you'll be working all night."

Find me a cite,
Your'e the lawyer guy.
It's the job of a new legal hack.
But you'll keep working for the law firm;
You're addicted to money like crack.

John passed the bar, he's a friend of mine.
Now he's doing time at Wachtell.
To bill enough hours, he works in the shower,
After dining on Aquafresh gel.
Law, law law, diddy daw,
Law law law law law law.

He said, "Bill, I believe this is killing me,"
As he slugged down some Pepto Bismol.
"My ulcer fell into my hernia
And my bladder has filled up with gall."
Law, law law, diddy daw,
Law law law law law law.

Paul is a real estate partner.
Who never had time for a wife.
And he's talking with Harvey,
who's still taking Bar/Bri-And probably will be for life.

And the secretary is practicing tae- kwon-do
With her legs way up high on the desk.
You ask her to jot down a letter,
But she hollers she's being oppressed.

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday.
The associates all file in.
'Cause they know that their job
is to cheat, steal, and rob,
And they'll be axed at the drop of a pin.
And the copier sounds like a carnival.
And your dictaphone smells like a beer.
We all take the bar but we never go far.
This is a bogus career.

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

Well, I guess that's better than getting the truth all over AdL's back.

Y'all are on crack
 

I have just lost so much of the very little respect I had for you to begin with.

Why, Bilmore, why?

Y'all are on crack
 

Did you go see Cher also?

Brush with obscurity.
 

Which John Mahoney?

http://www.pitt.edu/~emergres/images/mahoney.jpg

http://discovernd.com/lr/images/57/r...ney-206419.jpg

http://www.asap.unimelb.edu.au/bspar...ifs/mahony.jpg

http://iprod.auc.dk/internet/i9-visi...honey-john.jpg

TM

Kobe
 

He's already joined. And I've already told you - it's not a cult, it's a collective. Get it straight.

About Last Night
 

Hell, I'm still looking forward to the day str8 "discovers" "this all-girl rock band named Sleater-Kinney"!

Brush with obscurity.
 

I was going to humor you, but after that Wiggles thing, I decided it didn't matter. But you sure play a mean pinball.

Brush with obscurity.
 

I was on a boat with JJ Walker once. Saw him quite a few times in elevators, at bars, in restayrants. In the gym, I wiped down a treadmill before giving it to him. It took all of my willpower not to say "Dynomite" on several occasions. He seemed like a really nice, friendly guy. And he's fucking huge. I figured he'd beat me stupid if I ran that line past him.

Brush with obscurity.
 

The one who sells life insurance.

Brush with obscurity.
 

Was Charo not on that week?

My best to Gopher, BTW...

Don't Be Heinous, Explore The
 

After the FB discussion of double anal, I became curious. I had seen pictures of the completed act, but I was unsure how the second insertion was accomplished. Someone suggested that maybe a double anal horn was used.

Being a creature of science, I bought a research dvd. In the particular instance I witnessed, the first penetration was done with the male lying on his back with the female on the male, her back to his chest. The second male then approached from above. No special equipment was used - he just kind of pushed it in.

While fascinating, I do not think that this is something I would choose to do personally. But if Anne keeps the shots coming, who knows?

Heinous
 

Was there a tearing sound? What was the expression on the woman's face during the insertion?

Heinous
 

I'd imagine that the soundtrack took care of that. Thank God for the skills of that USC drop-out doing the sound editing, no?

Heinous
 

The research was conducted and filmed in Europe with subjects mostly from Eastern Europe. Then it was dubbed into English. Who does porn voiceovers? Str8? You can also select versions dubbed into French and Italian. I found it interesting that there is a different soundtrack for each language. Music is apparently culture-specific. Double anal is universal.

Heinous
 

This is fine and well and all, but this clearly was NOT the research project I assigned you.

Heinous
 

Sometimes pure research is its own reward.