Doomed to spinsterhood
 

Meet Shifter for lunch at the observation deck of the Empire State Bldg.

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

I know. but I find her endearing. [and u too even tho I know I annoy you also]

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

Please revert to posting my opinions. In fact, if you come to nyc today, I'll let you sit in my office and do all my work for me.

Deadwood parody
 

harebrained

SYLLABICATION: hare·brained
ADJECTIVE: Foolish; flighty: a harebrained scheme.
USAGE NOTE: The first use of harebrained dates to 1548. The spelling hairbrained also has a long history, going back to the 1500s when hair was a variant spelling of hare. The hair variant was preserved in Scotland into the 18th century, and as a result it is impossible to tell exactly when people began writing hairbrained in the belief that the word means “having a hair-sized brain” rather than “with no more sense than a hare.” While hairbrained continues to be used and confused, it should be avoided in favor of harebrained which has been established as the correct spelling.

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

No, I walked into a wall.

Deadwood parody
 

RT, this is too much energy to put in a post about a 10 minute meeting. I met her. I was polite. She joked. I joked. She did not feel uncomfortable at any point. I cut it short and that was that.

She is a moron to think that I would talk to her any differently than I post. She is a moron to think that I wouldn't be honest about her looks after repeatedly saying I would be honest about her looks. She is a moron for thinking she is attractive when she is not. She is a moron for saying I was very nice and very handsome and then trying her damndest to take it back after she didn't like what I had to say. She is a moron in every possible way one can be a moron.

Don't waste your breath on her.

TM

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

I was thinking maybe that munchkin punched you.

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

You're getting better at this.

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

You dumped him. He's mine. You can have Coltrane, and groom him as he grows into the next stage of sebbiness.

Deadwood parody
 

Can you stop with the moron diatribe? I worked until 2am and I am very cranky.

And you are a moron. For thinking you are cool when you are not and for having an overinflated sense of self. Not in the way that you accuse me of, but calibrated differently.

After the sort of humilating experience, it hasn't affected how I percieve myself. I perceive myself as attractive yet a work in progress. Really that's arrogant to try to take that away from me.

And JUST SO YOU KNOW. I said the nice and handsome part to be obsequious.

AoN, I do feel attractive today. Fall is almost here and the fall colors are with it....

Besides this wack assed tornado warning I'm trying to not fall asleep.

Also, one of the secretaries who I am buddies with said I look sexy today so there. :P

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

I had a dream about Coltrane last night. I totally forget what we were doing, but he was there. It was non-sexual. For some reason I think we were talking about green tea ice cream.

Calvin and Hobbes
 

Was someone here lamenting that the complete Calvin and Hobbes was a limited edition that's since sold out?

If so, Amazon is offering it again.

link

If not, scroll on by.

Deadwood parody
 

I hadn't thought of this in years. Thanks!

"Grandmother's Song" by Steve Martin

Be courteous, kind and forgiving
Be gentle and peaceful each day
Be warm and human and grateful
Have a good thing to say

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike
Be witty and happy and wise
Be honest and love all your neighbors
Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus
Be dull and boring and omnipresent
Criticize things you don't know about
Be oblong and have your knees removed

Be tasteless, rude and offensive
Live in a swamp and be 3-dimensional
Put a live chicken in your underwear
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival

Calvin and Hobbes
 

Me. Me. Me!!!!!!


Thank you. I'm off to use the lawtalkers link.

Deadwood parody
 

Unless there are sirens going off and you are taking cover, it is a tornado WATCH.

Idiot non-tornado area dwellers.

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

Surely you of all people are aware that green tea ice cream is a classic anal sex reference.

Calvin and Hobbes
 

I shouldn't have hestitated to say "(Hi BnB?)"

enjoy it.

Calvin and Hobbes
 

Now I can finally chop up the anthology I have to get my favorite one of all time framed.

(Hi Burger!)

Calvin and Hobbes
 

do you want to borrow my scanner instead?

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

Are you positive? I'm pretty sure it's a fisting reference.

Etiquette at the Gym
 

So I am at the gym this morning and running on a treadmill. It is not the treadmill that I usually use, but there was no one else on any of the treadmills, I came up some different stairs, and hell, all the treadmills are the same.

I put in all my stats, get the program started, fire up the iPod, and start my run.

After about 15 minutes, a guy comes and stands right in front of my treadmill. I do not know him. After a couple of seconds of him looking at me, I reach up and take the earbuds out of my ears. And he says "That's my usual treadmill."

"Oh," I say. I look down at the display and say "I'll be finished in about 15 minutes."

He repeats that it is his usual treadmill. I look around, note at least a dozen unused treadmill, and shrug my shoulders. I then replace my earbuds.

Did this asshole really think I was going to just stop in the middle of my workout so that he could have "his usual treadmill"?

Deadwood parody
 

Okay, in that sense I am a moron. lIke the chick in sbux said, "some dude lived here 20 years and no tornado" it just really doesn't happen here.

Etiquette at the Gym
 

Of course he thought so. And the fact that you didn't comply and hit the stop button and clamber off probably stunned his ass.

Why are people so set in their ways? Would he have a freak out if he had to use the one to the left of you?

Did he continue to hover?

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

You are a moronic idiot.

But your hair is not completely repulsive.

Calvin and Hobbes
 

You know, you can order reprints from the syndicate. I think they'll print them nice enough for framing for you.

I got my brother the collection two years ago for Christmas, and I'm thinking that I may get him a framed copy of the very last strip for a birthday or Christmas this year.

ETA: It is thoroughly awesome that I can find all of the Calvinball strips using the search function.

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

He has nice hair.

but does he have french cuffs?

Car Board
 

I never wear stiletto-style heels for this very reason. I'm not exactly overweight, but in those kind of heels, I look like an inverse triangle.

Car Board
 

Withering. Retort.

Deadwood parody
 

I've been lurking this site for some time now always amused by its entertainment value. I feel compelled to come out of my shell to defend the lovely patentparanyc! TM's physical assessment of her was a bit harsh to say the least. It is only one man's opinion!

I've met her in person and found her to be very attractive with this incredibly sexy voice!! She's a study in contrast with her exotic Asian looks and American upbringing. Her intelligence & wit are engaging, never a dull moment in conversation.

You readers should at least get another man's view before you presume who is right or wrong, or choose sides.

Doomed to spinsterhood
 

And you are vapid and shallow. But you are not completely unattractive for a festive person.

Deadwood parody
 

Fuck. Now the sock has a sock.

Car Board
 

I didn't read what you were posting, and I thought you might be responding to one of the cover items of September Cosmo -- "'I punched a hole in his thigh with my stiletto!' and other crazy sex accidents." (I paraphrase.) But no.

Car Board
 

You're insane.

I wear stiletto heels as often as I can. I've been told they make me look bootylicious.

Deadwood parody
 

Are you vapid? Obssessed with consumerism in its basest form? And least important of all, are you the many friends on this board she was speaking of?

Deadwood parody
 

"Exotic" Asian looks? Are you from, like, Oklahoma or something?

Deadwood parody
 

2.

Etiquette at the Gym
 

He was clearly hitting on you. You no longer recognize this if there is no straw involved?

Car Board
 

I've heard of that. It'll cost you 40 dollars in New Orleans.

Car Board
 

I'm sure you* would look bootylicious in a burlap sack and jellies (or whatever those icky things are called) from the drugstore.




*insert "think you" here, ppnyc-in-training girl.

Etiquette at the Gym
 

How was his hair?