Memo to str8/ paging less
 

That's not really an insult. Anything is delicious with a side of bacon. Or wrapped in bacon.

Death, taxes and bacon.

Memo to str8
 

A little known fact.

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

And similar odds that they will divorce before said press tour is through -- assuming, of course, that JHo makes another movie/album/video/trip to the grocery store (or washroom) during which she will, of course, meet the new Mr. Right while little Benny isn't looking.

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

I didn't even know she was pregnant. I need to keep up.

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

Must she marry every guy she screws? Doesn't she realize that just keeping a himbo is infinitely less expensive than a big Barbie wedding and big Liz Taylor divorce every time she gets tired of the sex and is forced to speak to the guy?

Though she may just be a wedding-dress addict--the white lace, the flouncy petticoats, the veil--which of course is a perfect justification for two-week marriages to serial saps. But they should be on notice that as soon as their boutonniere wilts, they're history.

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

Their break-up is imminent. The REAL wager should be on which person dumps the other. My bet is on Affleck. He kicks Lopex under the bus when the year long mickey she slipped him wears off and he realizes that booze and casual sex with the girl du jour tops putting up with some trailer-trash psuedo diva* who can't even dance even though she was a dancer in a previous life.

*The word "diva" now means "bitch", right?

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

Why so cynical? Maybe this time it's love.

Austin(and maybe that stripper really likes me)tatious

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

I'm sure Ben Affleck will be absolutely devastated to lose her. One can already imagine him wandering the streets alone, crying out in pain for his lost ass...er, love.

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

Dude. Whatever. Mine really liked me. She even gave me her real name.

She looked just like a Velvet, too.


Sidd(and a phone number with so many fives is cool!)Finch

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

Sweet.

Mine rang to Pizza Hut when I called, but I am sure she was so dazzled she just thought her number was 444-4444.

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

It's an interesting proposition, but the problem is that who dumped whom is determined by which of them has the better publicist or is more agressive on their story. So I bet J-Lo purportedly dumps him first, but within a few weeks, Ben will speak and Ben will say that, no, really, he dumped her, but he was trying to be a man about it and not talk about their relationship in the press.

Who gets the interviews? BabaWawa? Katie Couric? One for each (Ben with Katie, so she can flirt; JLo with Barbara, so they can share the soft-focus lens).

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

It's just an excuse for a smashing party, where she's the center of attention.

How expensive are the divorces? Can't she just reuse the same prenup with each husband? Nothing T&E lawyers don't do already.

Ladies Love Cool James
 

Very little known. And not so factual.

Don't you remember the line, "I'm representin' Queens, she was raised out in Brooklyn"?

Birth Name: James Todd Smith
Born: January 14, 1968
Birth Place: St. Albans, Queens, New York

Thurgreed(doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well)Marshall

Memo to str8/ paging less
 

Ben gets his exes publicists, too, though, thanks to his ability to keep them as friends. He can launch a multipronged attack. Gwyneth and Matt will give interviews about how they're so relieved that Ben's back in the fold and how it was wrong, wrong, wrong and how they should have never done that intervention after that weekend in Vegas while Ben stands silently in the background, manfully holding back his tears.

J.Lo tends to leave her exes behind (no pun intended) and forgets about them. Puffy's not gonna say shit in her defense, and the others are too unmemorable to do her any good.

Ladies Love Cool James
 

well duh

My friend is Canadian. That's who you were talking about, right?