Silence
 

With all the retro stuff going on, perhaps you might ask your wife to grow out the disco mitt. I believe I've seen all the possible permutations of the shave (from bald to the landing strip to the thin strip up the center, etc...). Having had my first sexual experience in the mid-80s, the only version of the muff I have never seen in the flesh is the disco mitt. Perhaps when summer bikini season ends I'll see if my wife will go hippy style... that way I can feel comforted that I've seen them all.

S(I wonder if the mitt will ever return to style?)D

Sign Number 682 from the Universe that one spends too much time on the FB.
 

So, I'm at an out-of-town hearing yesterday (although it's a pain in the neck to go to Beaucoup Egypt for hearings, it's nice that Piggly-Wiggly thinks so highly of my skills* that they want me there), and I notice that opposing counsel is an attractive Asian chick.

Alas, before I can try to use Aloha's Jedi mind-trick to get her to give me her phone number, I start wondering whether the fact that I find her attractive means that I am Not Straight. NTTAWWT.

*"skills" being defined as a combination of a laughably low hourly rate and possession (in a Swiss bank vault) of negatives of the CEO of Piggly-Wiggly cavorting with Donna Rice on the "Monkey Business" in Bimini.

Bambi Hunting
 

This is not the board to admit that your terrain is dry and unfrequented. Huge tracts of land, yes, but the land should be fertile and populated.

Bambi Hunting
 

Populated? Hmmmm.

Bambi Hunting
 

If it were up to G3, there'd be at least five lesbians residing there, with power tools.

As for the fertile part ... a kitchen utensil, perhaps?

You know who I miss? Lady Val. I wish she'd come back. Or a tribute sock, at least.

Sign Number 682 from the Universe that one spends too much time on the FB.
 

You were thinking, that's the problem... The Dao of Steve says that if you're thinking about her she'll pick up on it and you're dead. The way to go is not only to appear disinterested, but to BE disinterested. Works for me (either that or I'm just a psycho-magnet).

Sign Number 682 from the Universe that one spends too much time on the FB.
 

There is no doubt about the matter. David Bowie co-wrote "China Girl," a paean to women of the Asian persuasion, and then was alleged to have been found in bed with the very ugliest of men, Mick Jagger.

Q.E.D. It merits no further debate. In other words, Oh, baby, just you shut your mouth. Shhhhhhhhhh.

Bambi Hunting
 

Only if the cameras are rolling. This is my chance for reality TV megabucks (what's that you say, stupid reality TV ideas are a dime a dozen... well, then, never mind).

Bambi Hunting
 

Fertile is fine; it kind of implies moist and inviting. The power tools thing scares me.

Silence
 

Pardon me while I call BULLSHIT. Being that my best friend is a JW (apparently JWs are allowed to have one or two godless hell-bound people on their friends list), I call total bullshit on you. First, you would not get a tattoo because JWs believe that doing so would mean marring Jehova's temple (although if you have a tat when you become a JW that is apparently okay). Second, and more importantly, JWs don't do the cross thing -- JWs believe that it was a stake (not a cross) or, in Hebrew, stauros. What do you think you gain by pretending to be a JW? I don't do religion but I certainly wouldn't fake it if I did.:mad:

Queer eye for the straight gal
 

You don't think lesbians already know how to use power tools?

Bambi Hunting
 

Of course its worse than prostitution. I never understood what's wrong with prostitution. Its a straight up services-for-cash gig. From a libertarian and logical perspective, I cannot really figure out why prostitution is illegal.

These chicks are getting nailed with paintballs. Have you ever played paintball? Those little paint pellets hurt like hell and left welts on me - and I was wearing ski pants at the time. I couldn't imagine getting tagged with one of those little slugs on exposed flesh. However, were this "hunt" found to not be endangering women, I can't figure out why it should be shut down.

That said, the chance for immediate tramatic injury here seems a lot higher than the risk of injury from fucking for cash. I imagine these chicks are either (a) uglier than sin, (b) paid ungodly sums of money or (c) high as hell the whole time and paid in dope. No one with any sense would get into that line of work unless they had a head full of dope.

S(of course, nothing topped "Bumfights")D

Sign Number 682 from the Universe that one spends too much time on the FB.
 

david bowie was found in bed with mick jagger long before he co-wrote "china girl." in fact, i'm pretty sure from reading the book "please kill me" that david bowie was also found in bed with his co-writer of that song, iggy pop.

not that disputes your point.

ms. naughty diplomat

Toenail polish
 

I started wearing toe nail polish in 96. These Hollywood dudes are just following my fashion lead.