Appeasing Shape Shifter's Inner Timmy
 

Obviously, the she who is the heat miser
need no lessons from the ex-punk, neo-Kaiser
who drinks only Ice Budweiser
but for whom a six-pack is not a paralyzer
although legally drunk by the Breathalyzer
she still won't the anal sex a-try her
nor is she a lesbian womanizer
I think she's a commie symphasizer
who needs someone to hog-ties her
and ass-fuck* her with the hubby none the wiser

*aka the anal hate fuck, aka the despise her

O, Canada! O, the humanity!
 

Damn. I thought for sure that was tasty bait. And no one bit.
I'd try to make a rhyme out of that, but all the rhyming is driving me crazy. I feel like I'm in a Jesse Jackson/Eminem rhyme off.

protein bars
 

I am trying to eat more protein, so I bought some protein bars. They all taste like vomit. Could someone please recommend a tasty protein bar (not an energy bar)? thank you. And not soy protein - I already ingest enough of that - whey protein.

Appeasing Shape Shifter's Inner Timmy
 

Your puny forgiveness is not really needed
You'll get no dessert 'til the clouds have been seeded
I once saw a man who could talk without thinking
Your fly is unzipped, your emoticon's winking
A pen in the hand is worth two on the sword
If I had time to write this, I wouldn't be bored
I'm starving, so please can I have one more Struther
I don't need a reason, for I am your mother

Shooting in NYC
 

Now Shape Shifter there is room here for all,
A true beauty queen makes no person feel small!

Appeasing Shape Shifter's Inner Timmy
 

See, one and all, Less does pay attention!
And I'm pretty stoked that I got honorable mention!!

O, Canada! O, the humanity!
 

Apropos of Michael Moore, HBO is running Canadian Bacon tonight!

Love that movie!

(Editted to add, if I must:

Apropos of Michael Moore
Tonight HBO has in store
One Moore Movie
I find Groovy
(Canadian Bacon by Name,
And this rhyming's Lame)

protein bars
 

I think that tasty protein bar is a non sequitur. However in light of my current girl crush, tonight I will go gorge on protein bars (whey only) and I'll report back in the morning.

protein bars
 

I'm a Zone Perfect fan. About 200 calories each, 16 g protein each. No idea if they are soy or whey protein, though. I eat them instead of candy bars - they're pretty sweet. Chocolate Peanut Butter and Fudge Graham are my staples - mainly because they come in the big Costco/Sams Club boxes and I'm pretty damn cheap.

Doubt that was even remotely helpful, but after missing a month's worth of postings and coming back to rhyming, I just wanted to move the pages along.

Oh, and I used to waitress (probably made better money then - I should go back) and, while hating to smell like smoke and having trouble keeping my eyes from watering constantly, I always volunteered for the bar/smoking sections. Way better tips.

protein bars
 

When I waited tables, people didn't usually volunteer for smoking because (a) during lunch the section wouldn't even fill up and (b) even at dinner, the smoking section was known for being big campers, and all the money was made on table turns. It was a pretty family friendly tex mex restaurant. I would guess that it varies by type of establishment.

The better tipper thing makes logical sense because so many service industry people smoke, but I didn't see empirical evidence of it.

n(Katy wants you to remember to Gos-Zip!)cs

They put up my picture with silence / Cuz my identity by itself causes violence
 

Yeah, I'm sure the off-duty (and probably some on-duty) cops working security on the Barbershop 2 locations in town aren't getting any heat... They shouldn't have released that, but apparently that's how one of the assault victims described her attacker. The artist sketch apparently doesn't look much like him, though.

Also, playing a little ketchup -- Not to be a Rankin-Bass "Year Without a Santa Claus" Timmy, but Heat Miser's brother is Snow Miser... Now I need to drink an Anheuser.

Appeasing Shape Shifter's Inner Timmy
 

While true I care not about most of you losers
I am always keen on double X boozers

My other main interest, for those who were sleeping
Is double dick deeping,
orgasm caused weeping
porn-flicks me-a-peeping
and internet creeping

Alcohol and sex are mostly what matter
The rest of it all is just blithering chatter
About handbags and songs
Flower and bongs
The former, the latter?
From poseurs and hatters

Remember you this
Next time you do dis'
All I need is a miss
with half of a piss
to achieve me a tryst
which concludes with The Kiss*

*defined herein - http://www.infirmation.com/bboard/cl...?msg_id=000G75

protein bars
 

I was at the Outback/Longhorn type of restaurant - and for some reason I never worked lunches. Maybe they were only open for dinner? I can't remember - it was a while ago and maybe there were effects from the smoke on my brain...

Anyway, the campers were the ones that tipped the higher percentages for me (like 30-50%) - and also tended to be the regulars and hence higher tips. Less running around, same to better money and the only theoretical downside was having to do laundry every day to wash out the smoke.

And the more we talk about this, the more I'm seriously considering going back to it. Cash and fun flirting for tips is good - working till 9 pm without anyone paying me cash (or even flirting for free) is bad.

protein bars
 

Yep. Never any flirting here.

protein bars
 

I very much wish by "here" you meant "here where DrH physically works" as opposed to "here at FB."

Unless of course you mean "here where Sidd Finch physically works," in which case, are you hiring?