Removing the feeding tube from our hipster plaid pants
 

So what'll it be?

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

This is the worst thread title ever.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

I try to excel that way. Thanks for noticing.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

I'm hungry.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

This was a brave post. If he comes up with some brilliant new name, your post is going to look mighty lonely sitting here.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

No pressure, Coltrane. Think of it as another writing sample.

Bored
 

Yes, same guy (how boring!). His penis is not thorny. It was just unfortunate timing that Poison popped into my head while I was thinking about it.

Bored
 

It does not sound like you are bored.

Bored
 

Some people I know saw Motley Crue (CRUE!!!) last night, dude. Maybe you were channelling me with the Poison song. I might have gone to see Vince Neil's plastic surgery results if I could name a single Motley Crue (CRUE!!!) song, dude.

Rock on.

Bored
 

Smokin in the Boy's Room.

That's all I can think of for now.

Bored
 

Home Sweet Home! In VH!'s Top 25 Power Ballads show.

Jenny McCarthy is still hot, however I think that the wall is not far off.

aV

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

I suggest putting this in your signature line. Time saver and all.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

my post count would go down, though.

and I'm not always hungry.

Bored
 

No, I guess not. But my relative monogamy is probably boring to you all, and that pains me.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Whew. I'm safe.

Bored
 

no, no, I'm sure it's a much hotter monogamy than pretty much any other monogamy here. Or, everyone imagines it is.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

You are. "[To Be Named By Coltrane]" is better.

TM

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Feel free to change it back.

No one appreciates a single entendre anymore.

Prank on Iowa
 

This sounds good.

In a way, Riverside, Iowa, was asking for it.

As the "Star Trek" faithful know, William Shatner's character, the beloved Jim Kirk, was born — no, in fact, will be born — in Iowa sometime in the 23rd century.

Seizing on that crumb of information a couple of decades ago, an enterprising member of the town council of Riverside, population 928, boldly went where no Iowan had gone before and erected a sign proclaiming his community "The Future Birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk."

The result is Spike TV's "Invasion Iowa," a four-hour reality miniseries about the making of a make-believe movie, airing at 9 p.m. tomorrow through Friday.

"Iowa" ups the ante by making the pretend production a science-fiction movie set in Riverside. The star? None other than Kirk's alter ego, Shatner himself. The target of the ruse? The entire population of the town.

The plot of the movie is as silly as the entourage, involving an android she-villain with the improbable name of Disintegratrix 3000 and a plot twist in which a virtuous farm girl — played, like many of the faux film's characters, by a local amateur — offers to bear the child of Shatner's character in order to save her town from ruin.

Scores of would-be actors and extras lined up to audition for parts, happy to sing "Pinball Wizard" if Shatner demanded it or to repeat a line "with a Cajun accent this time" if that was what the star wanted.

One local man even donned a Priceline.com T-shirt to serve as a walking product placement for a Web site Shatner has been advertising for years.

The Canadian-born star (Str8?), who has spent decades doing what even some fans recognize as a tongue-in-cheek William Shatner impression, seemed to charm almost everyone he met.



Spike TV

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

I appreciate it.

As I was just discussing via instant messgaing technology, I wore a pair of tight, black and white, polyester plaid pants to a club within the last two weeks. They were very popular. The talk of the spin class the next day.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Thanks.

I bought a pair of Zegna thin-waled cords (on sale...$38 -- sorry NFH - I bought it at uber-discount). Let's just say that Zegna doesn't make casual clothes for Americans. Suits? Yes. But these things were so tight in the ass/crotch (visibly)...yikes. Not good. Mamel toe, etc. You just can't get away with flaunting your plums and feeding tube that way on this side of the pond.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

how disproportionate.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Zubas cornered that market.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

If you are not built like a European perhaps you should stick to the Dockers.

Or maybe stop buying the counterfeits on the internet.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Smartbargains.com = not counterfeit.

6'2" 175, fatass.

If you were a guy, you would have a TEEEEEENY penis. With thorns.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Bluefly or Yoox?

Yeah, tight is one thing. Suffocating your mammoth love anaconda is something altogether different.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

6'2"? That is quite short for internet standards. No one else here has fessed up to less than 6'4". Shrimp.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Those things would suffocate NFH's penis.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

5'4" 175. Damn.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

If Terri has an anaconda down her throat, she'd probably already be dead. I'm just saying. He confessed to feeding-tube measurements.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

So you're admitting that I'm a woman?
Hm.

And you're saying that buying clothing on the internet worked out for you? This is what happens.

Bobby in the men's department would never have let you walk out with a pair of pants that suffocated your twig and berries.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

And snag the thorns on the wales.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Yes, but did Sequels like them?

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

By "your," I meant "my."

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

The perils of humor are indeed treacherous.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

I agree that it doesn't always work out on the internets, but I've been sucessful about 75% of the time.

I don't let salespeople help me. Come to think of it, I'm kind of an asshole to them.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Well hell-OH there, flowery one.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

Is there only one size of feeding tube? You'd think that the fats would get a larger one to accomodate the extra flow.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

our throats are really no bigger than your throats.

[To Be Named By Coltrane]
 

It goes in her belly button.

And if Terri could talk, I'm sure her words would be, "But doctor! That's not my bellybutton."

"That's okay. That's not a feeding tube."