Meh.
 

Welcome to your new thread. Enjoy.

Meh.
 

Best. Thread title. Ever.

Everything is a cipher and of everything she is the theme.
 

The system of her delusions had been the subject of an elaborate paper in
a scientific monthly, but long before that she and her husband had puzzled
it out for themselves. "Referential mania," Herman Brink had called it. In
these very rare cases the patient imagines that everything happening
around her is a veiled reference to her personality and existence. She
excludes real people from the conspiracy - because she considers herself to
be so much more intelligent than others. Phenomenal nature shadows her
wherever she goes. Clouds in the staring sky transmit to one another, by
means of slow signs, incredibly detailed information regarding her. Her
inmost thoughts are discussed at nightfall, in manual alphabet, by darkly
gesticulating trees. Pebbles or stains or sun flecks form patterns
representing in some awful way messages which she must intercept.
Everything is a cipher and of everything she is the theme. Some of the
spies are detached observers, such are glass surfaces and still pools;
others, such as coats in store windows, are prejudiced witnesses, lynchers
at heart; others again (running water, storms) are hysterical to the point
of insanity, have a distorted opinion of her and grotesquely misinterpret
her actions. She must be always on her guard and devote every minute and
module of life to the decoding of the undulation of things. The very air
she exhales is indexed and filed away. If only the interest she provokes
were limited to her immediate surroundings - but alas it is not! With
distance the torrents of wild scandal increase in volume and volubility.
The silhouettes of her blood corpuscles, magnified a million times, flit
over vast plains; and still farther, great mountains of unbearable
solidity and height sum up in terms of granite and groaning firs the
ultimate truth of her being.

Meh.
 

The amasing thing is, none of those were my socks. I didn't even realise what number we were on. After my last Penske post, I googled something of rl interest and caught a bizarre porn wave, surfed it for ten minutes and then remembered I wasn't supposed to surf porn on my work computer, only to come back and find there had been a K race.

Oh the humanity!

Everything is a cipher and of everything she is the theme.
 

2.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

The unthinkable just happened. Neither penske, nor I, realized there was a K race on.

Everything is a cipher and of everything she is the theme.
 

This lack of white space is so Mmmmmmmmmmmm2004. Did anyone read this?

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

And yet we were both on the board sixteen posts before the K and then were both on online for the whole race.

Sad.

Pathetic.

Pathetically sad.

A new low.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

I posted. I switched to email. I read a bunch of email and I came back and POOF! Shifter raced himself. I IMED you to say WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TELL ME THERE WAS A RACE and you replied that you too missed it.

this is like a solar eclipse or something.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

It's like a solar and a lunar eclipse, at once. Is there any irony here?

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

To be fair, I had an assist.

Wrong Board
 

If I ever get naming rights to a politics thread again, I plan to name it this:

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/POLITICS...delay.hcso.jpg

2. I was telling her about how fast you were at 5ks, and she said the one time you got the money together to pay her fare, you were way quicker than my PR. Congrats.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

The 5000 posts counts are beneath you. That's where Penske and SS play- minor leagues. The real racers are estimating when post 300000 will come up.

Oh, and SS congratulations, I'm sure everyone is impressed.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

I think Everyone was surfing for porn. I am certain Everyone looks forward to SS's next stellar pick.

Which of the 33 times that weekend is she referencing?

The 33rd time. You know, the one time there was physical contact before you completed.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

It's ironic that

1 you and SS openly Spam to "win" the k race and as a result flood one of the 2 active boards,

while
I get woodshedded for

2 posting on boards that are completely dead.

I hope Ty@50 is right about the Penske being banned thing.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

2.

So my "cred" fixes your bad math? Your failure to ever admit that you're wrong fits in well with your politics, though.

Are you retarded? There is nothing wrong with my math. If you ever competed in any athletic event you might be able to fathom that victory or defeat is not predicated on some rational analysis of what times should be. I had someone, who shall remain nameless, who posts on this board, admit to me, off board today, that I could probably have spotted them 400 metres on that same day and taken them down. another 400 metres ain't that much. I hate a lethal kick, something you probably don't understand.

I can cite instances where I have made up 20 plus minutes over ten miles on someone in a 13 mile run. On 99 out of 100 days that never would have happened because I am not normally 2 minutes a mile faster than this person, but shit happens in the heat of competition.

Irony lives.
 

You did not read it?

Wrong Board
 

I saw a former boss of mine on the news recently standing next to Mr. Smiley Mugshot at a support rally. Asshole.

Irony lives.
 

Ché perder tempo a chi più sa più spiace.
-- Purgatorio (III, 78)

Confidential to Penske: If you'd put this much time into the marriage itself, it might have worked out. Or bought enough time to coax her into domiciling in a non-community property state.

Only 400 meters? Your ex-wife is 400 meters slower than Taxwonk?

Arrested Development
 

S
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S
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So, Rita is clearly a student at the "stupid" school, right? Have we discussed this?

Normally I would respond that "you were not helping, as usual", although, sadly, you posteth the truth. While the truth hurts, hopefully the lessons I learned (1. marraige is not a competition to be won, with the victory smack talkin back into the face of the spouse like Jimmy Cagney grapefruiting a broad, but rather it is a partnership celebrating a mutually shared ideal; and 2. a scorched earth divorce attorney is probably more expensive than just sucking up the alimony) will help me benefit mankind and future generations of maritalists. That hope and the lurve of the babyjesuschristsuperstar get me through my dayz.

Good guess, but the reference was to Fringey. Wonk and I are on a break.

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

I've not seen the article yet, but Fred Kaufmann wrote an article in the latest Harper's Magazine about food television, and how it shares an astonishing number of parallels with the production techniques in pornographic films.

As a dedicated journalist, he bought Mexican Food, sat down with a photographer who was experienced in filming porn, and sat down to watch 6 hours of the Food Network. Interviewed on On the Media.

Money quotes:

• You know, in the old days of food television, if you talked to the producers, if you talked to the people who were involved, they were already making jokes about "it's food porn." The difference today is that the porniness has become more pervasive. Nobody would confuse Julia herself with a porn star. However, that leg of lamb, that big chunk of steak, that was the star, and the fetishized focus on it was clearly a pornographic focus.

On the production value:

• [The photographer] really gave me an education in terms of not only of the shots but in terms of the wacky, strange soundtracks - [SOUNDTRACK UP AND UNDER] - this kind of caressing camera going over the food, back and forth and up and down. One of the things that makes it extremely porny is the repetition. You'll see the peach, and the camera going over those peaches again, then Giada, then the peach, then Giada, then the peach. And so this is very similar to how porn works.

On Iron Chef:

• Iron Chef is the classic fetish porn film. Welcome to the Dungeon, with this billowing smoke. ... And then you have this great dominator character who's in this kind of wild brocaded outfit with the black leather glove. And then comes the strange ingredient from the ceiling. It's squid. It's living squid. And you have the dominators taking this submissive food and transforming it into something beautiful. In other words, the classic plot in a dom-sub fetish porn film is you have a transformation of a character from a meek little thing or an ugly little thing into a gorgeous, beautiful, wrapped-up, zipped-up thing. And here what you have in food is you have this disgusting thing, like living, writhing squid, that's turned into this highly refined and highly mediated squid risotto.

And on those sadsacks watching in the bar, painfully searching for the inconguous goals of intimacy, cold beer, and a good third period:

• A predominantly male demographic is much more popular with advertisers. And many people who I've spoken to call it "The Emeril Network" because Emeril was the man responsible for bringing a male demographic to The Food Network. He brought in the hockey fans. ... Now, in fact, you're seeing men in bars watching Giada; they're watching Rachael next to the football game. And it's almost this kind of strange surreal experience of having somebody cook for you while you're sitting there drinking beer alone in a bar, crunching a potato chip. It's this kind of outrageous sense of happiness and perfection given to you in this completely virtual manner.

Not Bob, it sounds like you've got another new source of guilt beyond complimenting the waitress' hair.

Gattigap

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

6 hours make him an expert? I've watched that much Food Network in a single day (albeit, in preparation for the holidays, and I was doing other stuff too).

And Giada's never really done it for me. I mean, yeah, she's hot, but somehow she lacks that base eroticism of Nigela. There's something about Nigela's show that's just so amazingly pornographic. Maybe it's her voice, or how they linger over her long fingers gently caressing and working the food. Not to mention the occassional scene they shoot supposedly at night where she's doing something with the leftovers for a midnight snack barely dressed in silk pj's, wrapping her arms around a dish as she slides upstairs to bed.

Her recipes are less than top notch, and, as tv stars go, she's not all that hot, but I can't seem to turn away.

Wrong Board
 

Arrested putz with a bad dye job?
I don't think I'm going to like that one either.

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

Tell me about it. Only if gwnc were my wife could that be a guilt free pleasure.

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

AND you'd be getting a lot more blowjobs. Unsolicited. No strings attached. In theaters, even. You totally should have married gwnc, dude.

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

2. BTW, it sounds like the bloom is off the rose a bit with the new guy, so Not Bob might have his chance sooner rather than later.

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

I read the article and it's more of a psuedo-psycho-biological piece about the "brain in the gut" and what it responds to (sex, food) than the interview (which I also heard on NPR*) would suggest. For what it's worth I find cooking shows even more boring than (most) porn.**

* I am in the 98th percentile of New York liberals. I would be 99 but I let my subscription to The Nation lapse a few years ago.

** FB privileges shortly to be revoked, no doubt.

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

You put that second asterisk in the wrong place, Karl.

[i] Mon Dieu!!![/i]
 

You had something else in mind?

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

It's Groucho to you, Chico.

Food Porn, Lovingly Deconstructed
 

For the record, Giada's cookbook (called Everyday Italian, or something like that) is absolutely amazing. The almond cake recipe is enough to justify the cost of the whole book, and her panna cotta is devilishly good (omit one half the honey, however).