Quote:
Originally posted by Adder
So, late last night a get a call from a drunkin ex. This is a girl I dated a looong time ago, and have occasionally hooked up with since when we were both single and in the same place. After a substantial cooling off period after she dumped me, we have again become fairly good friends.
That's hardly a situation I can complain about, but she is single again and has apparently now decided that she wants to date again.
She says that she compares every guy she meets to me, and they don't measure up. I suspect that she has an idealized and unrealistic image of me, 'cause, really, I'm not that great of a guy.
Anyway, point being that I don't think I want to date her again, and I guess I feel kind of bad about that. In her drunken and depressed state last night, she keept pressing me for why I wouldn't date her, but I didn't really have a good answer. I'm just past romantic feelings for her I guess. Maybe it is a by-product of the first time we broke up. Or maybe it is that dealing with the continued drama in her life over the last several years has left me uninterested.
But, of course, she also made me promised that last night's conversation wouldn't change our friendship, but as we all know, that may not exactly be possible.
So anyway I don't really know what to do about the whole situation. I don't know if it would be better to just pretend that the conversation never happened or to try to extricate myself from the friendship. While I don't want to date her, I certainly don't want to hurt her any more than necessary.
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Why can't you just tell her what you wrote above? If this is a woman that you are friends with, you owe it to her to be honest with her. You haven't said anything mean like "I don't want to get back with you because you are fat/ugly/stupid."
As far as continuing to be friends with her, well that just depends on how much you value the friendship, whether she has made you feel uncomfortable, and how she acts. If you value the friendship (and it sounds like you do from what you wrote) then I would have the discussion with her telling her what you wrote above and at the end tell her that you value the friendship and want to try to be friends still if that is OK with her. Tell her that you will understand if she isn't interested but that you are cool with it if she is. Then it is all up to her in what she wants to do and how she acts. If she acts like a freak, well, then avoid her.
