Quote:
Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
While I agree I don't want to hear the bride's father publicly urge the groom to mount her and lay his seed upon her fertile crescent with great dispatch, I disagree about the sexual imagery of the couple. A well-designed wedding is so loaded with subtle sexual innuendo that it's the ceremony, not the reception, that primes the pump for hookups among the single guests.
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Agreed. I didn't say the wedding is unssexy. I said the "grandchildren speech" is unsexy. A well designed wedding, like any other alcohol fueld get together involving members of opposite sexes, is a a great place to hook up.
However, the "I can't wait for grandchildren" speech is the most unsexual thing anyone can possibly hear. The speaker is cock blocking every single male in the room, unless watching old people act pathetic gets you hot and bothered. I know I get randy as a spring rooster when I hear a 65 year old man toast his son's copulating with the lad's new bride in front of a room full of people.
My wife and I told friends in advance that we expected no glass-ringing. That's fucking obnoxious. Its like one guy has the cell phone of all guests and decides to call them all simultaneously. If I'm talking to someone across the room, I don't want to be expected to shut up because some berr drunk cousin of the groom with a spiked mullet decides he wants to make the bride and groom kiss. Tell Cletus to go hit the PPV or kiss his sister.
