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AI
I am glad that my days of listening and viewing to the vibrating prancing balladeer are coming to an end. Why dont the judges point out his dreadful vibrato? On the last tune, it was unbearable. And the way he stands in place with his head down during his most ballady ballads is more posturing and drama queenity than I or anyone should have to bear. This guy is just pure camp.
And what was that suit he was wearing? I think I bought the same one at Bebe in 1995. What was that line from Best in Show (cult movie?) where the two gay guys are watching Christy CUmmings prance around with Butch on the floor of the dog show and one guy says that she looks like a cocktail waitress on a _____? Well, Clay looked like her body double for the film in his outfit. And when he stood next to Ryan Seacrest, they looked like they were waiting for their limo to take them to the gay prom. Its camp. That is the only way to look at Clay. High camp. High vibrating camp.
As for Ruben, his last number really moved me, and not beacuse he, and Prancer, had a choir of thousands in creepy red robes standiing behind him. I realized that when he busts into the really singy part of a song and that smile comes on, he looks like Jerry Garcia doing one of his happier ballady tunes (but not ballady in the Clay sense). And when he takes his kudos from the judges, he looks like a gigantic, morbidly obese, black Andre Agassi who has just won a Grand Slam title.
I decided to give my self one hour to obsessively hit redial like some kind of big loser who has no life. I got through fifteen times in an hour. Then I couldnt take it anymore. Hopefully Quentin Tarantino has one of those jobbers from Radio SHack that can call in 200 times at a time or whatnot.
How are they gonna fill two hours tonight? They better not plaly that cheezy Billy Ocean, Ruben "get out of my dreams, get into my car" video again. I still have that fucking "proud to be an american" going through my head from the five minutes of the Monday show I saw. Images of Josh singing about his wife and his children . .. . make it stop.
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