Quote:
Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Nor is synch swimming. It all belongs in cirque du soleil.
As for gymnastics, the federation is filled with the biggest batch of pussy-assholes in the world. First, they acknowledge a mistake and take their own sweet time to say nothing can be done. Then they say nothing can be done to award dual golds.
Now , unwilling to fix their own mistakes, they say Paul Hamm would be the ultimate sportsman if he were to give up his gold medal. Charming. I would never have thought the figure skating federation could be outdone.
|
And for Coltrane, this bit from Bill Simmons:
Q: I've come up with a legitimate rule to determine whether or not a given activity is a sport. If a girl who's say, at least a B cup DOESN'T need a sports bra in order to participate, it's NOT a sport. This definitely rules out activities such as bowling, billiards and golf. (The only exception here is for sports that take place in water, as the swimsuit acts as a sports bra.) Note that this can only be applied to eliminate activities as sports -- there are definitely activites out there that require a sports bra but aren't sports -- like say, jump rope. Otherwise, I think it works well. What are your thoughts?
--Elizabeth M., Munter, Ga.
SG: I like any sports definition that relies on sports bras and cup sizes to succeed. You need a few more guidelines though:
1. If you can smoke and/or drink while you're competing, it's not a real sport.
2. If you don't need to shower after you're finished competing, it's not a real sport.
3. If judges are deciding the winners and losers, it's not a real sport.
4. If competing at a world-class level means you have to give up your childhood, as well as eating three times a day, having a menstrual cycle, having body hair and breasts, and being taller than 5-foot-3, it's probably not a sport.
5. If you're wearing a shirt that has your name written on the front pocket in script writing, it's not a real sport.
6. If one of the announcers for the sport spawns questions from viewers like, "Hey, is that Ant from 'Last Comic Standing'?" and "Wait a second ... is he crying?", then it's probably not a real sport.
So I'm with you, Elizabeth. Some things should be called "sports," other things should be called "competitions." Both sides can operate under the same sports umbrella ... we just need to remember the difference between the two.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...simmons/040827
Eta: I'm not so sure about #1. One of my favorite memories from ls was from the annual softball tournament. A teammate stepped up to the plate with a beer and a lit cigarette. He put the beer down and hit a home run, running the bases with his cigarette. He took a triumphant puff as he crossed home. Good stuff.
