Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I had linguini for lunch. The colors are fucking awesome. Check Atkins off the list of causes...
You know, I can't wait to get home today, fire the tops of my new bottle of Blavod (black colored vodka for screwheaded rubes like me), mix it up with one of those tropical Fuze drinks, pour in half a red bull, fire up a Camel light and sit on the deck, staring at the sky, mulling over where I'll waste a pile of money at dinner, embarrassing myself by slurring while ordering ("Yes... the mussels and filet... filet of steak... yes..."). Then I'll badger a buddy to bake me and pass out watching some lousy movie I got from Blockbuster last nite.
Or I could go to the beach. Nah, fuck that. Too much work.
Has it really come to this? Should I shout... should I scream? Maggie, what have I done?
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I can't wait to finish reviewing this answer. Then, I'm gonna cut out early and head up to a "friend's" place up north in Coon Rapids. Makes bathtub crank in a shit box manufactured home up there. I'm gonna smoke so much I'll be able to feel my heart beating in my eyeballs and I'll feel like I need to peel my skull back and drag a garden rake across my brain because it itches so much. Then, I'll straighten things out a bit with this fucked up Actifed cough syrup with codeine that he buys in Amsterdam. Then I'm gonna hop in my Jeep, put the Cows' cover of the Jesus Christ Superstar song 39 Lashes on repeat at high volume, and start driving west until I get to those crazy flat wide open corn fields that seem like they last forever. I'm not gonna stop until I get to a Dakota - I don't give a fuck which one. Then I'm gonna find me one of those bars where nobody cares who you are and they only have one beer and it's a dollar, and I am going to put a twenty on the bar and tell the bartender to just keep them coming. Eventually, sometime on Sunday, I suspect, I'll find myself in some woman's home and I'll be naked and back on the crank pipe, and that will pick me up just enough for a high speed run back to Minneapolis, where I need to attend a baby shower and then a hip hop show on Sunday evening.
