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[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

I've posted on Craigslist for the past six weeks, using my spell-check to make sure that I had few grammatical errors, revealing myself through insightful verbiage to be a sensitive, honest soul in search of simple things, gently encouraging the romantic side of the Craigslist community to take risk on a truly nice guy, but to no avail. No woman has yet to accept my subtle, yet passionate overtures. I am left alone.

I can't imagine why. It must be my immense cock that intimidates people. I always to used to think that it was such gift to be blessed with such a gargantuan appendage, but I’m starting to realize that it often gets in the way of real communication. Believe me, I've tried dealing with this in a variety of ways but with little success; I've mentioned it as a matter-of-fact in the first sentence. “Hi, me and my massive mutton musket would like to show you around new york…”. I've used the posting title "This SWM wants romance with a SWF who can handle a humongous stiffy", and I’ve even written postings that only spoke of it off-hand, “…so if you’d like to go to the Kabuki show tonight at the Lincoln Center with a nice guy who is hung with a colossal dong and cobblers, just drop me a line…”. All to no avail. What is with women these days? They say that they’re looking for honesty and sensitivity and sophistication but when they have it in the form of a good-looking yet vulnerable 28 year old man who’s hefty meat stick resembles some kind of mammoth fraternity pledge fist, they get shy all of a sudden. Sometimes I get dejected by this rejection and I just want to lie and not even mention just how incredibly large my pork sword can be.

I hope someone reads this and doesn’t just skip over to the next posting. After all, behind this message there’s just a nice, yet incredibly well-hung guy looking for a girl that wants love and romance with someone who’s purple plum perch looks like an Edgar Rice Burroughs cover art creation.

Thanks,

John