Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Wonk, you just laid some serious shit on me there with that little missive.
I wrote a book a while ago but couldn't get it published. I stay up late at night rewriting it and for the life of me cannot give up the notion that I might get lucky and get published and that through the book, I'll at least have had some sort of impact on the world. As pragmatic as I am, the idea that I might leave this world without ever having made a definite footprint really sticks in my gullet. I wish I had your ability to find peace in what you do. That satisfaction seems so utterly fantastic an ellusive to me. Perhaps I'm naively holding on to delusions of grandeur. I just always thought there'd be more juive to this life than what I've currently got. How did you get to your contentment? Did it slowly creep in over time or did you resign yourself to making it so?
I can't stop writing this book, and its driving me crazy. Perhaps ADHD meds are in order...
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At the risk of sounding morbid, I found amazing peace in proving true an ER doctor's prediction that "you probably won't die."
After my heart attack, I had a lot of time to think (much of it through the clarity of some heavy pain killers) and I realized that life isn't a journey. It just is. Until one day it isn't.
I'm lucky enough to have chosen a profession that I enjoy and a practice area that amuses and challenges me. I do the best I can, and I am happy when I find value or answer a tough question.
Keep writing the book. But don't do it because you have to get it published. Do it because you find something in the process of working on it. Either publication will come as it improves, or you'll find the way to a new story that might get published. Either way, concentrate on the work, not the result. You can influence the former, but not the latter.
