Quote:
Originally posted by Not Bob
I find that I really have to be careful to avoid confusion when he is in his Tribute to Paigow mode -- especially when she is also posting.
Anyhow, I am in a funk, and watching the Coastal Urban Sophisticates bash Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel just ain't cheering me up.
So, I will leave early and go to the mall. That may make me happy -- I still have some shopping to do, so I will go buy racy lingerie, or books, or music, or shoes.
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I was something of a peeker growing up, and it became something of a game between my parents and me; I'd get more and more aggressive searching for my presents and the devised exotic hiding schemes to thwart my efforts.
This game reached a climax when I was in junior high. I desperately wanted either a stereo or an amp for my guitar, and I wanted each so bad I could taste it. One evening a week or two before xmas, my mom got home from work a couple hours late, and I noticed a couple of large boxes in the back seat covered by a sheet. Thinking quickly, I suggested that to my mom that since she must be tired from working so late, so she should let my brother and I pick up a pizza for dinner. She agreed, but said that there were presents in the car and warned us not to peek.
After promising not to look, my brother and I dashed to the car. There was a moment of stillness after the doors closed, and we looked at each other with mischievous grins. As soon as he promised he wouldn't tell Mom, I dove over the seat to pull the sheet to reveal --
empty fucking boxes. I'd been had.
My brother howled with laughter all the way to and from the pizza parlor. I was begging him not to tell -- "Please,
please don't tell." With great solemnity, he assured me that he wouldn't rat me out.
As soon as we got in the house, my mom asked if we had peeked, and my brother immediately broke into hysterical, convulsive, laughter. He couldn't even talk to tell the story, he was just doubled over and pointing at me. I threw the pizza at him and ran to my room, humiliated.
I learned an important lesson that day. Never trust anyone, especially your family.
