Quote:
Originally posted by Sidd Finch
Nope -- not exploring anything at all. I believe in this very firmly. (eta: SOmetimes, club, when people say they disagree with you, it's not to make conversation, and it's not dishonest, and it's not motivated by some ugly hidden ideology. You consistently seem unable to grasp that.)
If my daughter (hypothetical at the moment, but not for long) wanted an abortion, I hope to hell that she would talk to me about it.
But if I'd been born a girl, and I had to have an abortion, I would not have told my parents. And if I had been required to, I don't know what I would have done -- but the chances are good I would have been thrown out of the house, if they had found out. Or forced to keep the baby I didn't want.
Or, I could have gone to a judge and hoped to prove, somehow, that although I'd never reported any physical abuse by my parents I had in fact suffered such abuse, and that such abuse was particularly drastic when my parents began to think I might be having sex, and if you threw pregnancy and abortion into the mix it would be a particularly explosive situation. And maybe the judge would believe that from a 16 yo pregnant girl about her well respected, professional parents (who just happened to have some dirty laundry that never got washed out in public).
If I'm a shitty enough parent to put my daughter in the position where she doesn't feel she can or should discuss this -- or any other major decision -- with me, then that is my problem, and probably my fault. I don't think the government is capable of fixing that lack of communication, trust, whatever in my family. And I don't want the government to try.
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I guess this all comes down to how mature we each view this hypothetical teen. You, RT, and Fringe all seem to think that her failure to consult with you or your wife is based on faulty parenting. I think there are a whole host of reasons why this could be the case, including, that she is just embarassed about it bringing it up, but would really like to have the support/discussion anyway. I am also concerned that, even if the capacity is there, that a teen may not be getting enough information upon which to make an informed decision. I don't trust planned parenthood or any of the various right to life groups to give her that information on an honest basis.
Again, I am not a parent, but I have been around children, and it is often necessary to prod them to talk about even mundane topics, let alone topics as important as abortion. As a parent, I would like the option to do that prodding.
I also think that there is a tremendous difference between a 17 year old and a 14 year old. I am not as concerned with the former as with the latter, and maybe that is what is driving our respective views.
