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[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Surely. We did a lot of hippie-dippy things around both of our kids' births, but we skipped the doula each time, even though we were connected with several opportunities for various reasons. We decided that it seemed like a pretty intimate moment into which to bring a paid stranger --- and no, we didn't regard our midwife as a stranger either time.* We also decided that good birth or bad birth, we wanted it to be remembered on our own ability to rise to the occasion. In other words, I had to be The Guy.

That said, we learned at our second birth that another hand on the other side of the laboring woman is appreciated. It helps, but is not essential, that the woman have given birth herself once or twice, although in our case she hadn't. Find a caring person in your life who already means something to you, other than your spouse, and you will have a rewarding experience. Being told that you're brave and strong is great, but it's 30 times greater when you're told that by someone who really loves you.

I've never met anyone who's said "shoulda had a doula" or "shouldn'ta had a doula." No harm in it.

*Also, as strange as she was, she was paid by the insurance company, so if she was a paid stranger she wasn't paid by me.

Whenever you write about your family I just get a warm feeling- you are truly blessed, but i suspect you earn the blessings!