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[SlaveNoMore]

Shape Shifter
"First, I'd like to thank my mockie manager, my mockie agent, and my mockie publicist for all their work dealing with all the mockies out here in Mockiewood. I'd like to thank my makeup person, a Gay and a Fat, but not a Rude Fat, for repairing all the damage I always manage to do the night before. And a special thank you to Raj, my yoga instructor who also does my document review, which allows me the free time to keep performing. Namaste.

Who would have thought I would be hear today? I know some thought I was nothing more than a used up crazy spinster hag way past my sellby date with a parched desert sandbox for a vagina and a mantrapping ass. To those people, I say, "get over it slave. I am not obsessed by you. I just like the hairless cat pics."

To the rest of you, the little people, I know I am expected to thank you. However, I see little to thank you for. Without me, you are nothing. I am The Paigow. Somebody bring me a drink so I can get drunk enough to fuck the valet. He is a Black"

The voice is spot-on - but far, far too few typos.