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I'm hurt
Look, Skinny. I don't care if you call me old. I am. I don't care if you accuse me of ogling young coeds, even if you're too fucking assjack stupid to spell the word correctly. I don't even care if you call me a buzz kill.
But I do not think I'm forever young, asshat. I am old. I like it. It gives me perspective. It gives me judgement. It reduces the time I have to spend on my hair. Best of all, it allows me to ignore stupid shit that the younger crowd thinks is so fucking important. Like appletinis, big ass clunky shoes that look amazingly like what janitors wear, dating in general, and worrying about whatever restaurant is trendy at the moment.
Call me a Peter Pan again, and I'll get ahold of your Mama and she'll have your ass chicken hawking in Times Square all summer vacation, you little piece of shit.
Love,
Taxwonk
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