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You keep using that word
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'll admit, in a fit of self-righteous anger, I actually spilled my bladder on a Koran. I was incensed about the 9/11. You know how it is.
But as I stood there in my garage, I realized I wasn't making much of a statement by pissing on the book (which cost my $13.99 at Borders... a fucking rip off, but thats another gripe alltogether). All I'd done was make a mess which upset my wife, and which I'd have to clean.
I realized that in order to REALLY register my disgust with the Koran, I'd have to piss on it in public. So I called the Sheriff and aasked him if I could piss on the Koran in public under the local code. He told me the state had made pissing anywhere outside illegal years ago (something about the Fed Govt requiring states to issue laws directing people to urinate and defecate inside if the states wanted to get fed highway money). So there I was, a patriot, standing in a pile of piss in my garage, screwed between the liberal federal govt and my right to free speech.
I decided to evaporate the urine with my welding torch. It worked magnificently. I sent this helpful hint about evaporating urine to Heloise, but she refused to put it in her column. Fucking bull dyke.
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I'm sure there are support groups for people with your problem.
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"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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