Quote:
Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Um, I'm inclined to believe that what people read into my posts was motivated far more by the politics of birth than it was by, say, my actual tone. Elsewhere on these boards I could say that anyone who eats meat is a murderer, or people who seek out DP encounters are total fucking whores, and it would not be seen as tramping on anyone's feelings. But if you say "We chose Demerol over an epidural because our midwife convinced us the risk was lower" and you're shitting on anyone who had an epidural, apparently, because someone in the room is going to think you're saying they unnecessarily put their baby at risk (or whatever).
Considering the endless pro-drug caveats with which I qualified my original posts on this topic, and my expressed support for a woman who flatly stated she would seek out a c-section instead of having another 42 hours of back labor, I have learned that even talking about one's own birth experience is judging even when you say it's not. It's too much of a minefield.
I think it says something that we can talk about "spanking or no spanking?" without calling anyone an abuser, but we can't talk about NCB without someone being called a misogynist who wants women to suffer. I'm a misogynist and my wife is both a misogynist and a masochist.
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This is nothing. Be glad you are discussing this with smart people who can speak both intellectually and emotionally about the topic, and be advised that in the random world, this is pretty rare. Go check out some pregnancy boards and enjoy the visceral, ridiculous versions of this argument that happen there. Interestingly, the same issue occurs: someone says something about a certain choice; intentional or not, it strikes some as condescending (and let's face it, whenever you feel really good about how well something you (the general you) chose turned out and tell that to people, it can easily be or sound that way); and debates erupt. It's this topic (among many, but this is a biggie). It hits at something central and vital. So tread lightly, or at least know that you're going to get into this if you choose to...get into this!
