Quote:
Originally posted by Spanky
I thought the general idea was that a women makes up her mind about a man in the first fifteen minutes she meets him. That section was focused how from my experience that is wrong.
You only addressed it one way. I said both ways. Let me be more clear. I have had many female friends and female relatives meet men who at first they did not like and then over time they changed their minds. It has happened more times than I can count. But for some reason many of the women on this board thinks that it rarelyhappens or barely happens. I have also had relationships with many women that said that when the first met me they were not "in" to me. Where they lying to me?
I don't know if getting out a lot is a good thing or a bad thing. But there was a time of my life when I went out a great deal and my experience has been the complete opposite of yours. For most of my adult life me and most of my male friends get rebuffed by the women we pursue at least a few times before we go out with them. Hell, my best friend from college, his current wife refused to date him for an entire year before he finally got her to go out with him.
Like I said. It is like we live on two different planets.
In the Dead Poets Society Robin Williams said that the most important reason to learn poetry is to wo women. But how can there be any wooing if they decide with in the first fifteen minutes if they like you?
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Maybe we are discussing different things. I am talking pure physical attraction. You are saying this might change after first impressions for the better. I will give you the possibility that a person's personality could increase physical attraction to some degree, but some of it is also non-personality based. As to the women I know - mainly intellegent, well-socialized women in their 30s who have dated a good deal over the course of their adult lives - there is some spark factor that is either there or not. I guess you might be discussing something else, but what I am saying is that many women can tell very quickly whether they are interested in someone or not.
You want to play some numbers game and work on wooing someone who is not initially into you? Knock yourself out. I'm sure that it works in some percentage of cases, but it isn't that high of a percentage (again, based on the experiences of me and my friends - I speak not for the 20-something crowd). I will admit that I have even, on occasion, dated people who didn't do it for me (and when I was very young, married one, but that is a whole other story). When I do that now, I let them know early and often that this will not be a long-term thing and that I'm dating other people. Some people stick around for that, and some even think they'll change my mind. I know for a fact that they won't.
I think the reason you come across women here who think your numbers game is flawed is because we've been around a bit and grown up enough to know what it is that we want. I completely agree that if you are talking to college and post-college women, the answer might change, but I wonder if that is really a good thing for you? You want to be with a woman who talked herself into liking you? That's a total turn-off to me, but thankfully my planet contains a great guy who I was crazy about from the first day I met him and that I'm still crazy about today. My planet rocks.
