Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
No, I didn't see that article. But I hope this concept of being personable does not inspire more servers to bend at the knees, rest their arms on the table, and say "Hey, guys, I'm Justin, I'll be your server tonight, okay guys? Awesome."
Justin, I don't care what the fuck your name is. I can't remember the names of law school classmates, former colleagues, or even certain partners in my firm who could actually help my career. Your name has no chance of being lodged in my memory, even for the duration of this meal, which has already been rendered too long by your lengthy introduction. Oh, and my due date is none of your business, in fact, I'm not even pregnant. Now please stand up and go get me a margarita and an ashtray.
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I have always wanted to do a few skits and get them on videotape. One would be to saunter into an airport bar in a Captain’s uniform, slug down five or six drinks, start slurring and acting surly and make a scene, then look at my watch, scream “Fuck! My flight!” and run out the door, videotaping the patrons left behind. The other would be to assemble a group of friends in a hotel suite, put plastic tarp all over the floor, dress the friends in butcher uniforms and one guy in janitor-type uniform (all wearing surgical masks) and then call some seedy strippers to the room, videotaping their horrified reactions when they enter the scene (Yes, I realize that one is a tad sick, but it’d be pretty comical). Now, you have given me a great idea. I’d get a female friend to wear a fake pregnancy costume and accompany me to dinner at a center table at a very upscale restaurant, where she would proceed to get scandalously falling down loud and obnoxious drunk. A buddy at the bar would videotape the horrified reactions of the patrons.
I love you - you’ve rounded out my pitch. Of course, royalties will be paid to you.
