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Making Baby Jesus Cry
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09-14-2005, 01:27 PM
#
4957
Hank Chinaski
Proud Holder-Post 200,000
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Corner Office
Posts: 86,145
President Dangerfield
Quote:
Originally posted by ironweed
Bill Maher did a riff on this on his HBO show:
Now, I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can't start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.
The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out, and no one is speaking to you: mission accomplished! Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy . . . or spaceman?
Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying that there's so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in ...
Please don't.
I know, I know, there's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote. But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.
Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.
On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans ...
Maybe you're just not
lucky.
I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So, yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, "Take a hint."
Plus he cost Bill Maher his network show. don't forget to blame Bush for that one.
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Hank Chinaski
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