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[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh my, I could never defecate on anyone (unless it were for an obscene amount of money... say, $500). I'd probably get stagefright and wind up with a submarine jarred in mid release... like a busted soft serve machine. Truly embarrassing. Not where one wants to find himself in the age of digital photography (although I guess I could be wearing a mask...).

That said, you've highlighted the difference between you and me. I'm a doer. You're a dreamer. For years you've written your murderous fantasies, but you don't act. You haven't the nads for a murder. I at least have the satisfaction that can only come from wincing while holding one's drawers about his ankles, staring out of the 41st floor conference window at Ben Franklin's visage, loosing a toxic cobra onto fine Japanese Oak.

You'll dream of decapitating nebbishes who will live on for what seems forever, to haunt and harrass your frustrated angry ex-hipster self through the long days of the tortured toil you call your life. I'll smile smugly, knowing neither Minwax, Ajax nor Clorox will ever undo the damge I've wrought.

if you had eaten asparagus does the table smell worse?