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Getting 'Gigli' With It
Another review, excerpted for your amusement, from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune (I particularly like the line about public mockery for years to come, you go J-Ho):
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"If you thought you could never, ever feel sorry for Jennifer Lopez, buy a ticket to "Gigli."
Imagine starring in a film so excruciating that it won't sink quietly, but rather be relentlessly scrutinized and critiqued and debated and autopsied. Imagine delivering a performance so out of tune with reality that it will inspire public mockery for years to come.
Now imagine that this doomed project requires you to speak these lines of dialogue, in a love scene, no less: "It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble."
In "Gigli," Lopez, her leading man, Ben Affleck, and all concerned have sailed into a perfect storm of cinematic awfulness, a lightweight romantic comedy with a bloody suicide attempt, a brain-spattered fish tank and a thumb sawed off with a plastic spoon. It's a Rob Reiner movie for psychopaths.
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Ick, ick and ick, people. Soft-brained and inhumanly dull, "Gigli" has no pace, no drive, none of the dark animal vitality that might have made this tasteless material a guilty pleasure.
...
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Gigli
1/2 out of four stars
The setup: A blood-spattered comic romance between a thick-skulled mob enforcer (Ben Affleck) and a self-adoring lesbian assassin (Jennifer Lopez.)
What works: The theater exit.
What doesn't: Don't get me started.
Great line: Yeah, right.
Rating: R for sexual content, pervasive language and brief strong violence.
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