Although I might have appreciated it if you would have directed me to the bottom (no pun) of the page where the tidbit about Santorum is located thus avoiding the stinging nettles and jack-off abrasion information, I would have then passed up the opportunity for this entrant in the Board Motto contest.
"All this time I've been enjoying regular, oral, and anal sex, risking STDs and broken hearts and God knows what else, when I could've been snugglin' butts and huffin' farts. What was I thinking?"
