Quote:
Originally posted by patentparanyc
I do have one issue that I would like to bring up. Namely, I am fine with not being vitriolic and trying to get along but I don't want to feel like I can't say what I want or feel, or that I am constantly censoring myself for fear of incurring wrath.
What I post may not always be pleasing to people. If not, place me on ignore and continue on. The whole point of this board is it is a free thinking, outspoken, blunt forum for which people can share their thoughts and feelings. We censor enough at work, with the PC police, etc.
Thank you for listening.
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Look, we all have our problems. The problem that's caused you the most trouble on this board is that you criticize people all the time, directly and indirectly and you do it in a very judgmental fashion. That's cool. I'm guilty of that too. But then you lose touch with reality when someone posts something back.
When someone disagrees with what you said, you think you're being attacked personally instead of understanding that people are offended by what you said. And it gets worse because you can't separate a critique of an opinion you've expressed because your opinions are always based on something very personal to you, like your family and you can't see that people are really targeting the
opinion and
not you and your family.
Example: You criticized bnb for not working and then for being a bad parent for posting here during the day. When you were told that (i) she is in a position that allows her to pretty much do what she wants (meaning she can choose to stay home
or work) and (ii) that posting from home from time to time doesn't exactly make one a bad parent, you thought everyone was attacking you and your situation instead of the dumb ass shit that you were posting. So, you got defensive and told us all about your great stay-at-home husband and your fabulous job and how wonderful everyone thinks you are at work and how great a set up you have at home. It's like you couldn't hear that people were disagreeing with what you said and that disagreement doesn't mean it's a black or white issue (
i.e., we were not all saying that we choose her over you, we were saying that we did not agree with your initial criticism and your manner of making that criticism).
That is just one example, but you've done it over and over and over again with many different people. I can break down the most recent example with gwnc as well, if you want.
And really, I think the only person who has attacked you on a personal level is me and there's no need to re-hash the reasons behind that. Everyone else has taken issue with what you've said and how you've said it -- they haven't gone after you personally.
Long story short: Try to actually listen to what people say when they disagree with you and think about whether they are attacking
you or your dumbass opinions.
TM
