Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't have an issue with the substance of what you post. It's the absolute contempt for any semblance of grammar that drives me nuts. You ricochet from thought to thought in this unholy mixture of Kerouak and ee cummings. I'm no paragon of cohesive thought, but I at least offer the gibberish in readable prose. You have a facility with 50 cent words, but then you'll misuse simple nouns and verbs next to them, which leads a reader to believe the lack of sensible construction is deliberate. Which is fucking annoying. Your text should not come off like someone is spinning the dial on a radio at top volumen and allowing 2 seconds of every station to play before continuing the spin.
My suggestion is to use more periods. Connecting a pack of lengthy sentences with commas is like dragging the reader by the nose. I don't want to be dragged through disparate thoughts in one breathless run because you can't find or don't want to use th period key. The use of ellipses is one of the trickiest things in writing. I abuse them with abandon. I shouldn't. Neither should you.
Half of anything you write is how you write it. Hank can get away with playing with the prose because that's half his shtick. And it works. I don't think it should be your shtick.
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As usual, you are brutally honest, yet helpful. I will try to be more coherent/cohesive in my structure, form and format of my posts.
