Quote:
Originally posted by taxwonk
I can stop drinking anytime I want to. Can't I?
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Top Ten Signs you're Closet Alcoholic on Shabbos
10. To enhance mitzvah of Kiddush you replace your shot glass with a Super Big Gulp cup
9. Suddenly found yourself in the yeshivish clique after three weeks of consistently slurring your English words
8. Two words: Flask Yomi
7. At the annual "Get rid of your Chametz" party you bring a keg
6. You told the rabbi his speech was "bitchin'"
5. You've gotten all ready for shul when suddenly realized, it's Wednesday
4 When you wish people good shabbos, they tell you they don't have any change on them
3 You found yourself in line for shul candy man hoping to score some breath mints
2 You have no clue what a haftorah is
1. It is the real reason you don't drive to synagogue
