Quote:
Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I am just wondering -- many friends of mine confided in me after I got separated/divorced that they never could understand what my husband and I were doing together, and that they never really cared for him and they never could understand what I saw in him. But all through the dating/marriage, they never said anything. It annoys me that they did not -- I can understand that they would not want to be jerks and criticize someone I love, but really, if you have an opinion, sometimes it is helpful to share it.
I am wondering if any of the other uber-smug divorcees had this experience and if so, whether it bugged them.
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Mixed bag for me. I got a lot of grief at the time from my sister (divorced once and now working on number 2) and a friend of mine (now divorced and feels like crap about treating me the way she did at the time) for not staying together.* Like nox4, I guess we put on a pretty good front for them. But since we always got along, just more in a brother-sister sort of way, I guess that makes sense. My growing population of separate friends by the time we separated thought it was the best move ever, but that is to be expected, I think.
No guilt over any of it at this point. I don't think you should fault your friends for keeping quiet. Voicing opinions like that can lead to the demise of a friendship. I have learned that lesson the hard way too (though the only reason I said anything in that case was it was an abusive relationship, at least as reported to me by her; it led to the only public altercation I've ever had with anyone (her asshole ex-boyfriend) in my life).
*this despite the fact that my sister didn't really like him. she is not especially good at the non-judgmental support, it turns out.
