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[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
My stories are too long so I'm only telling one:

My BF and I have known each other for a number of years. We were close platonic friends and then a few years ago, he became available. We were hanging out, inching slowly towards romantic/sexual involvement. I made plans for us to go out to dinner and a concert with my former housemate, J, who had just moved back to town after several years away. They knew each other from back when I lived with J but hadn't seen each other for years.*

After dinner and the show, we went back to my house for some dessert and drinks. I asked BF to drive J home, which he did because he's a nice guy.

A few days later, J calls me up and says she wants to have another concert-with-dessert afterwards get-together again at her house. She invites me and wants to invite BF. She asks me for his email and asks me a few questions about his romantic status but in a way that I don't pick up on her intentions.

A few days after that, BF calls me up and tells me that she has written this email to him and she's said that she's very attracted to him, how much the kiss on the cheek good night meant to her, etc. I tell him if he's interested, he should go for it. He says he will call her and tell her that he just wants to be friends.

A few more days pass by and BF and I end up finally sleeping together. We're both a little freaked out about risking ruining our friendship but happy. A day or so after that, I have dinner with J. After dinner, she is telling me about her plans for this upcoming get-together and whom she has invited. I express surprise that she's invited so many people and she says, Well, I didn't want it to be too uncomfortable with [BF]...did he talk to you about me? I, misunderstanding, say yes, he did. Fairly quickly, I realize she thinks she has this hot date with him and I'm the third wheel. Not knowing how else to explain it, I blurt out that we had just slept together, blah, blah, blah, TMI. By now, we are back at my house. J goes into the bathroom and stays in there for really looong time. She comes out composed but is clearly thrown off by this turn of events.

After she leaves, I call BF and tell him what happened. We brace ourselves and by the next day get some rather psychoish emails uninviting us to the get-together and implying that we have a twisted relationship.

I saw her once after that when she returned some things she'd borrowed before she left town again for good. It was clear that she felt like she was not in the wrong and we've never spoken since then.

*The last time BF remembers seeing J, she actually demanded at 9 pm on a Saturday night that I made BF and then-SO leave our house because she was studying and we were listening to some music in the LR. That was also very uncomfortable since we weren't making a lot of noise and they were about to leave anyway. She just looked like a raging psycho-bitch, which she could be sometimes.

How was she in the wrong? Neither of you gave her any indication that you were together. She sent him an email where she expressed interest and apparently he didn't let her know what was going on after receiving it. She specifically asked you his "romantic status" and you presumably told her that he had none, knowing, as you said, that you were "inching slowly towards romantic/sexual involvement." Then, after she feels like she has made her intentions apparent, out of the blue, you tell her you fucked him.

TM