Quote:
Originally posted by Sparklehorse
I have a question for all the board denizens who have been through divorces. A close friend is in the process of getting a divorce and her wedding anniversary is coming up in the next few weeks. What's a good way for her to get through the day?
Apologies to the keepers of snark if this is too nicey-nice.
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I am asking a highly sensitive friend for advice. I would say see if she wants to see a movie or something. She may want to see something that will let her just cry her little heart out, or she may want to see e.g. Die The Hardest You Ever Have. I am sometimes kind of a fan of not being alone, but not having to put a lot of energy into interacting with others, especially if I'm kind of sad.
ETA stuff from other person:
That's a tough one. I was the instigator but it was still a sad thing. I truly, truly believe there's a bit of sadness for everyone about this. No matter how angry you are at the person, you loved them once, and even if you don't feel bad for/about them, you mourn the loss of that feeling/optimism that you had when you married them. Or at the very least the anniversary is tough because you're kicking yourself for making the biggest mistake of your life (or somewhere in the top ten).
The good news is, I'm sure I thought about this the first time... pretty sure, at least... but I'm also pretty sure I never thought about it again.
My advice would be simple: ask the friend what they'd like to do. I'd think it would be a very personal decision, but the friend would be grateful to have that kind of thoughtful support. I wouldn't worry about reminding them of it. Even on the off chance they'd forgotten their anniversary was coming up, they haven't forgotten they're getting (or have just gotten) a divorce.
If the close friend was not the instigator, I would expect way more sadness. But my advice would probably be the same.
I'm kind of surprised she never thought about it again. Dammit, I took a lot of trouble helping arrange that spur-of-the-moment, no-support-from-any-family-members, at-the-court-clerk-office wedding! I made sure she had flowers, since she was getting married whether any of us liked it or not!!!!!
