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Quite possibly the best advice column response ever
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
I used to arrange my stuffed animals on my bed, every morning, in a hierarchical order, kind of like a throne room -- Mama Koala was the queen, Baby Koala (who attached to her back with velcro) was the prince, and the others were the courtiers.
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When I went to bed each night, I used to arrange mine around the perimeter of the bed as a sort of protective barrier between me and any monsters that decided to come out from underneath or from the closet.
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"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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