Quote:
Originally posted by leagleaze
From unfortunately recent experience, I will say to you the man is in shock and denial. Especially if it was sudden. Leave him be for now.
{.........lots of very sound advice.........}
That will be a mercy for him.
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I agree with all the Leagl has said with 2 exceptions:
1) EXCEPT if he is very close or very long-time friend
and if either of those is the case then
2) EXCEPT if the family is nearby.
If he is a very close or very long-time friend, and he is likely to be mourning nearby, I believe it is entirely apprporiate to call, offer to stop by, or in the alternative, show up bearing food and company.
In those first mind-numbing days for me, I didn't much want to talk on the phone, didn't really want to cope with anything at all, but I appreciated not being left alone and I appreciated people who just materialized to take care of me. I was especially glad to have people nearby to talk with who knew my lost loved one, and who were willing to talk about her with me. I felt less alone knowing that others felt the void her death had made, and while I cried a lot in those days, mostly I cried remembering her with other people... I may not have noticed if my dear friends hadn't made the pilgrimage to help me through it, but I certainly noticed that they HAD.
If you are not that kind of friend, send a note...and be there in wahtever capacity when the phone does ring.
Bn'B
