Quote:
Originally posted by purse junkie
Send a card if you're sure it's true. You don't know the family situation, and it sounds like they may not want to be put on the spot talking about it--out of shock or grief or if there's some other weirdness going on--but they'll expect word to get around and will appreciate your kindness. When he's ready to talk, you'll know--he will just do it.
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Don't call him, call his best friend, secretary, or other person who is likely to really know what his wishes are. I have usually found that grieving folks are best off relying on their close friends to do things like make sure people who they need to or want to know do indeed know, and that different people have different ways of wanting the death and life to be acknowledged or not acknowledged. Once you find you who is in the know, find out how they want the person to be acknowledged and respect their wishes. This information may also be in his hometown paper, which may be on line. Flowers, contributions, etc. are often quite appreciated; for others, there really is nothing like a funeral service attended by hundreds or thousands. Indeed, I know some people who took note of who made the wake or funeral or sat shiva and who didn't, and will remember it for years to come, just because it was a very important moment for them.
