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A Really Gross Etiquette Issue (welcome back DS!)
From "Dear Prudence" column:
Prudie,
Recently, my mother passed away. I live more than 1,000 miles away and couldn't make it home for the funeral. The problem is that when I went online to read the obituary, it said that my mom had five daughters, not four. What happened was that the woman taking care of her as she got sicker was having an affair with my dad, and she was called a "daughter" in the obituary. My mother expressed to me many times that she didn't like this woman, but my dad wanted to keep her, for obvious reasons. Well, I called my dad and told him that I thought it was cheap and that he was a pig for doing such a thing with the obituary. He told me all my brothers and sisters, and even my mom's family, thought it was a good idea. My brothers and sisters knew he was having an affair with her, and now they think it is OK to write that this girl was a sibling? My brothers and sisters think that I was wrong and I shouldn't have said anything to our father. I don't think I am wrong in the least bit, and if he asks for an apology, I won't give it to him. He is almost twice her age.
—Burned Up
Dear Burn,
If you know for a fact that your sibs OK'd this nonsense, then they AND your dad are all whack jobs. You're either a child or you're not, and the caregiver/girlfriend certainly is not. The age difference, of course, is charming. And boy, it's really true: There's no fool like an old fool. Prepare yourself, dear, for the possibility that this woman will wind up in the paper again—on the wedding page.
—Prudie, empathetically
Aside from the sheer squickiness of calling one's mistress one's daughter, I am now looking forward to a proud new era of obits such as "Mrs. Jones is survived by her husband, Robert, and her younger, hotter side action, Bill." That's the kind of thing that will really comfort the cuckolded spouse and who-the-hell-wants-to-know-about-your-parents'-sex-lives kids in their time of grief.
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